In His Radiance

"You Don't Know What You've Got"

2009-10-15T14:25:00.002+13:00

"You don't know what you've got" ringing through my ears as I walk down my street on the way to uni.
"Do you have a house, a nice car, a family, friends?" A man shouting on the street at people as they walk by. Angry, bitter about the losses he has suffered.
"I lost my wife, my family, my friends, my job, I lost everything! You don't know what you've got," he shouts as I walk on by, focusing on some object in the distance to avoid contact with his eyes.
"What are you staring at?" he screams at someone on the other side of the road. "You think you're better? you have a nice car? Somewhere to sleep at night?"
The voice fades away as I turn at the bottom of the street and head the other way.

I don't know why this man has lost everything. But he does have a point. Do we really know what we've got? Because if we don't, and we just take it for granted, then we may end up doing foolish things and ending up like this man. Bitter, angry, hating, perhaps in deep regret.

Although I think this man's anger was directed at the wrong people, maybe he should have asked himself why he lost it all. We still need to remember that our own lives and everything in them are held up by just a thin string that can so easily snap, and cause everything to hit the ground and splatter everywhere.

Let's be thankful and appreciative of those people who put up with us before there's a mess all over the ground too big to clean up.

Apathy and Anguish

2009-08-31T13:56:00.002+12:00

Apathy.

I feel as though I am so apathetic to life these days. Don't get me wrong, I do care about things, but I just don't seem to care enough.
I want to do well in uni, but I don't care enough to devote hours of studying every week
I want to build deeper relationships with friends, but I don't make the time to go hang out (with more than just the usual bunch of close friends)
I want to develop a stronger relationship with God, but I just don't want to have to change things in my life to make way for something better. And even in my desire to want to change, I so often just can't be bothered.

Apathy is the response of any living organism when it is subjected to several stimuli it perceives too hard to handle.

I have too much responsibility and choice in my life I wish I was just told what to do exactly, and do it.
As Paul Washer said, we have so much truth in our lives already that we don't know what to do with it. We just want to change. Tell us how to change, not just a part of us, but ourselves entirely, from the chambers of our heart.

Anguish.

Part of my apathy is that I am not feeling anguish. A deep hurt for the things of God in this life. I should care and the people on those streets, not be desensitized any longer. I should be in pain for the waste of my life playing computer games, or for sitting around watching TV. It's not even justifiably social if I'm the only one doing it. I should be hurting every inch of me when I stunt my relationship with God, or when I choose to say something that hurts someone.

"Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up" James 4:9,10

Dr SM Lockridge's Famous Sermon

2009-06-02T00:26:00.003+12:00

My King was born King.
The Bible says He’s a Seven Way King.
He’s the King of the Jews – that’s a racial King.
He’s the King of Israel – that’s a National King.
He’s the King of righteousness.
He’s the King of the ages.
He’s the King of Heaven.
He’s the King of glory.
He’s the King of kings and He is the Lord of lords.
Now that’s my King. Well I wonder if you know Him.
Do you know Him? Don’t try to mislead me.
Do you know my King?

David said the Heavens declare the glory of God, and the firmament show His handiwork.
My King is the only one whom there are no means of measure can define His limitless love.
No far seeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of His shore of supplies.
No barriers can hinder Him from pouring out His blessing.

Well, well, He’s enduringly strong.
He’s entirely sincere.
He’s eternally steadfast.
He’s immortally graceful.
He’s imperially powerful.
He’s impartially merciful.
That’s my King.

He’s God’s Son.
He’s the sinner’s Savior.
He’s the centerpiece of civilization.
He stands alone in Himself.
He’s honest.
He’s unique.
He’s unparalleled.
He’s unprecedented.
He’s supreme.
He’s pre-eminent.

Well, He’s the loftiest idea in literature.
He’s the highest personality in philosophy.
He’s the supreme problem in high criticism.
He’s the fundamental doctrine of proved theology.
He’s the carnal necessity of spiritual religion.
That’s my King.

He’s the miracle of the age.
He’s the superlative of everything good that you choose to call Him.
Well, He’s the only one able to supply all of our needs simultaneously.
He supplies strength for the weak.
He’s available for the tempted and the tried.
He sympathizes and He saves.
He’s strong God and He guides.
He heals the sick.
He cleanses the lepers.
He forgives sinners.
He discharged debtors.
He delivers the captives.
He defends the feeble.
He blesses the young.
He serves the unfortunate.
He regards the aged.
He rewards the diligent and
He beautifies the meek.
Do you know Him?

Well, my King is the key of knowledge.
He’s the wellspring of wisdom.
He’s the doorway of deliverance.
He’s the pathway of peace.
He’s the roadway of righteousness.
He’s the highway of holiness.
He’s the gateway of glory.
He’s the master of the mighty.
He’s the captain of the conquerors.
He’s the head of the heroes.
He’s the leader of the legislatures.
He’s the overseer of the overcomers.
He’s the governor of governors.
He’s the prince of princes.
He’s the King of kings and He’s the Lord of lords.
That’s my King. Yeah. Yeah. That’s my King. My King, yeah.

His office is manifold.
His promise is sure.
His light is matchless.
His goodness is limitless.
His mercy is everlasting.
His love never changes.
His Word is enough.
His grace is sufficient.
His reign is righteous.
His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Well. I wish I could describe Him to you, but He’s indescribable.
He’s indescribable. Yes.
He’s incomprehensible.
He’s invincible.
He’s irresistible.
I’m coming to tell you, the heavens of heavens cannot contain Him, let alone a man explain Him.
You can’t get Him out of your mind.
You can’t get Him off of your hands.
You can’t outlive Him and you can’t live without Him.

Well, Pharisees couldn’t stand Him, but they found out they couldn’t stop Him.
Pilate couldn’t find any fault in Him.
The witnesses couldn’t get their testimonies to agree.
Herod couldn’t kill Him.
Death couldn’t handle Him and the grave couldn’t hold Him.
That’s my King. Yeah.
He always has been and He always will be.
I’m talking about He had no predecessor and He’ll have no successor.
There was nobody before Him and there’ll be nobody after Him.
You cant impeach Him and He’s not going to resign.
That’s my King! That’s my King!

Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory.
Well, all the power belongs to my King.
We’re around here talking about black power and white power and green power, but it’s God’s power.
Thine is the power. Yeah. And the glory.
We try to get prestige and honour and glory for ourselves, but the glory is all His.
Yes. Thine is the Kingdom and the power and glory, forever and ever and ever and ever.
How long is that?
And ever and ever and ever and ever.
And when you get through with all of the evers, then, Amen.

Fasting

2009-05-18T00:09:00.002+12:00

I recently started the Daniel Fast with my church. The point was to make a sacrifice to God saying, "I will give up eating and drinking all but fruit and vegetables (no preservatives, dairy, meat, seafood, sugar) so that You may build our church in numbers, in monetary funds (so we can get a building), in seeing people come to know you.

Which is great. However, as I started this fast I realized a couple of things that made me uneasy. The point of Fasting is to sacrifice something of ourselves to grow that relationship we have with God. When I started this fast, though, I really started it because the rest of my flatmates were doing it. Don't get me wrong, I am passionate about seeing this young church grow and be built up to be something that influences the whole of Dunedin - but it wasn't "truly" the reason I started the fast. I hadn't actually thought about why I was doing it in much detail at all.

So I sat down tonight and had a think about it. When I did, I realised that my time with God hadn't increased at all, my motives were wrong (fitting in rather than desiring God to move in our church), cooking "Daniel Fast" foods took longer than normal meals, and I was spending most of my day thinking how hungry I was - which usually resulted ion me letting others know I was fasting.

This was a problem, because although I was making a sacrifice, it actually was sacrificing anything to God. Really I was sacrificing to conformity and looking good around others. So I had to revamp what I was doing. The Daniel fast is not for me at this time. But I do want to ask God to change our church, to build people up within it as leaders, evangelists, to see people saved, to grow our funds so that we can have a permanent building (which will allow us more free time as we have to set up and pack down every Church service, Change service and Primal service) and so we can better advertise our church to draw people in. So there are a lot of things I want to see happen in the church, and I am willing to sacrifice something of myself to God in my persistent petitions regarding this subject. After talking to God and the youth pastor, I concluded a better approach would be to ditch the Daniel fast and to instead go completely off computer games for the three weeks which should free up a little bit of time which I can give to God. As well as this, I am going to fast during lunch time, giving me more time to spend reading His word during the day.

So I just pray that as I sacrifice these coming weeks these things that I desire - God would build higher my desire for His Kingdom here on earth, that he will provide for His church as it grows through evangelism by His Spirit through the people of c3 church, that His church would willingly and cheerfully give of what you give them for a bigger vision, a bigger hope for the future of bigger city. Amen

2008-10-14T20:20:00.003+13:00

The year sure has gone quickly. To be honest, I think this is about the second time this year I've posted here. Blogging seems to have died out in the circles that once were. Perhaps it was the novelty of sharing thoughts with people you cared about, and who cared enough to read about you, in a way that didn't require finding a common free time, making an appointment, using leftover pocket-money on petrol and espresso coffee and then forgetting how to make conversation with the person sitting in front of you. I really do miss blogging, but I don't think I blogged because of time restrictions. High school provides so much free time and perhaps that is why I spent so much time updating my blog and reading other blogs in those times. It just seems that now it's much more important for me to actually make time to (physically) catch up with people. The problem is, most of those people I love dearly in Christchurch I see very seldomly because I head back up there when I get a chance and spend a lot of time with a few people. For the rest of the people who I don't get to see, I just kind of hope that they join facebook and update there, given its system of notifying updates on other people's webpages updates everyone's webpage. For instance, when my brother started dating his status changed from "single" to "in a relationship" which posted the change on everyone's webpage that was associated with him.
This really just allows people to keep up to date with everyone they know with just a 2 minute glance at their own webpage; which to me is very appealing as spending hours going through all the different blogs cannot really justify anything more than procrastination in a daily routine where very little free time for web-browsing is possible.

But I will update this page still, occasionally.
My life at the moment is reasonably stressful. The Human Body Systems exam is on Friday, then three more (Metabolism, Biology and Protein Structure) over the space of the next few weeks. On top of that, I've changed church from DCBC to BATCH (Breakfast at the Centennial Hall) in the mornings (8.30-10) and CCC Dunedin Metro (Christian City Church) in the evenings (6-late). I've started getting involved in the AV team again and intend to be better trained for more of the sound and lighting aspects of this over the start of next year. Myself and 3 people from CCC are flatting together next year (one of whom I flat with now) but are yet to find a flat that doesn't charge the earth or is unfixably insanitary. I'm also looking at getting a job over summer and am waiting on a friend to get back to me on whether I have it all not. So all in all there is a bit of stress in my life at the moment. But I will survive.

In Christ,
Rayd

Web browsing

2008-05-27T13:09:00.002+12:00

I came across a site today, in which a girl talked about watching a TV programme that involved a mother telling her child how creation theory was the be-all and end-all, and science was all lies. The girl made the comment on how it made her mad that the child, and other children in Christian fundamentalist families were being brainwashed. I couldn't resist sending a comment back, as I feel this is one of the stumbling blocks for many pre-christians in accepting Christ as Lord and Saviour; that they believe the Bible and science are seperate, and can only contradict one another. The original post can be found here

This was my reply:

It's interesting that you talk about brainwashing Christians. I'm not arguing with you that what the mother said was wrong. What she said was wrong, but I feel I need to express my own opinions here (even though I came across this site by googling my nickname). I am a university student doing a Bachelor of Science in Biochemistry and I am a Christian. A creationist at that. Despite the many allegations that science has to dispel a 6-day creation, I have found no backup proof to claims. I believe science has an important impact on our lives, but I think that to say everything you hear about science and in science is correct, is a form of brainwashing in itself. To argue effectively against creationism you need to understand why you believe what you believe, with evidence to back it up, or essentually you're just defending someone else's theories and are the same as the mother on the TV programme you so despise. And it's a sad truth that much of science has become like that. People are so caught up on trying to reliquish the fact that there is someone who has more control over their lives than themselves that they are willing to "free" themselves by becoming slaves to lies.

If you have questions about my beliefs, or just want to have a go at me, then please email me @ aliasrayd@gmail.com. I believe that people deserve to know the truth, which is understandably near impossible to get published, based on the presupposed evolution stigma surrounding universities today.
Cheers,Rayd

Living For Something Bigger

2008-05-20T16:07:00.002+12:00

Something I've been learning over the last few days, that has sunk deeply into me as water does into a sponge, is the need for more discipline in my life right now.
"The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly."
"Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him."
"How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a vagabond, and want like an armed man"
I feel this last verse is especially for me, as I have had plenty of days where getting up seems impossible. It's not that I'm feeling down, but perhaps the seeds of laziness have grown into trees and are now bearing their fruit. It puts me in a place, in my life right now, where I have to actively decide where to go from here. I need to consult God, because it feels as if, since I got to Dunedin a year and a half ago, my dreams have dwindled away, and I no longer am living with purpose, direction and determination in my life.

There are some changes I am now implementing in my life because I feel my lack of discipline greatly impacts the resulting fruit of apathy, laziness and neglect. Firstly, I am to give myself set deadlines to do things. For example, I am going to give myself one hour to write the results part of my lab report. This, I feel is a great need, as I have noticed that my attitude has rubbed off on the boys I am leading and if I am not acting responsibly with regard to being an example of someone actively living the abundant life in God's strength everyday then I should not be in a position of leadership. Secondly, I am now going to make a commitment to go to bed at 11:30pm on school days (save thursday night when I go into town to evangelise). Failing to do so in the past quite possibly has a lot to do with my fatigued state of mind and inability to get to university on time for all my classes. Thirdly, I am going to spend more time with God in finding out the dynamic direction in where He wants me to head. If my old dreams are dead, then it is time to bury them and allow the new dreams to take hold. But I want to make sure that my dreams are on parr with God's. "Trust in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" has struck a new chord with me, when a friend explained to me that God doesn't give us what our heart desires, He gives us the desires that our heart needs, which are in line with His desires, so that we can live a life with an eternal perspective. So, this blog was really just about how I'm going to change my life to start living for something bigger. If anyone still reads it, I want to challenge you: Are you living for something bigger? And if not, what changes will you make in your life in order to start living life for what you could be, God willing, rather than just waiting for it to happen?

Beach Project

2007-12-04T22:02:00.000+13:00

Summer Beach Project

As many of you know already, I am going to Nelson over Summer to share the Good News with holiday-makers and beach-goers for a couple of weeks. Now I realise that I am not the most experienced evangelist nor the most appropriate for the job of being in the ministry of evangelism. Surely, some of you say, there are others that could be sent to more effectively talk to these people. Perhaps, others think, money would be better spent on one who has spent their life talking to people, someone older. Others maybe even dare to think that perhaps Christians' money is wasted on me and my comrades and the damage our limitedly experienced selves on those lives in Nelson could be worse than if we would not go at all.

For you I have no answer, nothing to repell your claims, because there is no doubt that someone God has spent years working in and changing and developing into a well honed instrument who fully relies on Him would be a much more effective person to go on this mission and money would be better spent as the lives of those he speaks to are rapidly changed.
But I can say that that well honed instrument began as a mixed-emotioned young infant in Christ, both excited and anxious about the mission God placed before them.
And I can tell you that, though I know not the full extent of God's plan for my life, this beach mission will be used by God to hone me, to challenge me, to stretch my faith in Him and to grow me with abilities, passions and uses that will be essential to both my relationship growth with God in the future as well as the relationships of others with God that He will use my hands and feet, my mouth and ears to show them what it really means to have a realtionship with their Creator. I can't hope to be someone with a witty tongue, with enticing words or with attractive orations but I can hope to spend time to share a simple message of Truth and to pray His Spirit would work in their hearts and that they will know we are Christians by our love. And maybe one day, that hope will grow to faith and that faith will put me in situations where I am comfortable talking to anyone, without little surveys and booklets, to show love to all those who are hurting, who are feeling lost, alone, scared, regretful, tormented, sorrowful, or unloved. Don't we all want to live in a world where people don't ignore the boy who sits alone at lunchtime, the girl who cries in the toilets, the woman who's been abused, the man who's haunted with the ghosts of his past? I know I do, and I know it pains God to see them like that, and it pains God to see His Children walk on by more concerned about the ackwardness of sitting down on the bench and offering one of those ham sandwiches they just spent $4 on.

Apathy is a problem in our society and Christians can't exactly boast about their good deeds when they send $10 a month to a child in Africa when they let the teenage girl go out and get drunk every weekend because she thinks it's the only way she'll get the affection she desires. If we're not speaking Truth into people's lives and letting them know what they're doing to themselves then we're not doing our job! God put us in this world to change it not to conform to it!

I could end it there but I want to challenge the people who read this. I relied on God to provide me ALL the money for this beach project. The expenses, the accomodation, the transport and the postage costs, etc. God provided it all. Every last cent! So before I end this post I want to challenge people to rely on God to give them opportunities to notice the hurting AND to rely on God to work through them when they ackwardly sit down next to them AND to rely on God to be a cheerful giver AND to rely on God that even when we tell the Truth and it upsets people that He is using our words to change the life and relationships of that person in a way that will benefit them eternally! Let's not just talk about fighting apathy, let's accept the responsiblilty that we have as Christians, as Children of God, let's take the leadership that this world so lacks, let's reject passivity and just DO IT!

Back to ChCh

2007-11-21T14:16:00.000+13:00

Will be coming back up on 29th or 30th of November as one of my flatmates is going up to CHCH on 29th and another on the 30th.
See you when I'm there!!!

The October Update of Rayd

2007-10-02T18:30:00.000+13:00

Hello all. It is true that I haven't written anything about my life for quite some time. To formulate some excuse for this would really just be creating stories. I would indeed say sorry, but the word implies that I intend not to do it again, and whilst I do wish to continue updating this blog, I also know full well that the lack of urgency and committment I have to updating will prevent me from holding to my word. So I will not say sorry.

However, I am updating now.

To my many readers, primarily based in Christchurch. Dunedin offers a very different life for me compared to the one I once lived. Many things are the same but it is important to focus on the differences.

In Dunedin I feel as if I have grown closer to God much more than I would have had I stayed in Christchurch. Perhaps this is because of the social pressures of drinking, partying, and having general "worldy fun." I say this because having to fight these things every single day causes me to turn from the emptiness I know it produces and run into the loving and fulfilling arms of Christ. There is also another thing that helps me to do this. For one, my living in a flat this year with primarily Christians has allowed me to stay free of the overwhelming pressure Christians face in the halls. I have seen many "once were Christians" give up following Christ in order to conform to going out with friends and being carried home at 4am because they aren't in a state to walk themselves. The other reason I shall mention here is that of my being discipled. Because discipleship means imitating the life of Jesus, adherring to His every word, allowing myself to change for Him and to be willing to disciple others; I have been given three mentors down here to train me and build me up in doing the things affore mentioned as well as helping me gain confidence in sharing my faith to pre-Christians. Perhaps I would not do this if those mentors were not on campus themselves (which I believe was why I was never so compelled to talk about Jesus in my school, among also being to timid to).

A second difference of Dunedin to note is the Christian male friends I now have my own age. In Christchurch it was difficult to find brothers to talk to who were going through the same mindset that I was. I greatly value having older people to talk to who can relate their past experiences to my current situation but I also believe that having people going through it with you is just as important, as we need to focus on both the "right now" and the "blessings of coming out of it" views. Dunedin has allowed me to find this friendship that I believe I was a great deal missing in Christchurch (not saying it was absent there but for close friends it certainly was).

Another difference has been the proccess of learning. In highschool I did very little work and in fact, for the most part, forgot how to study. It has been a massive learning curve this year in my "learning how to learn." There are certainly many things I can still improve on, but I am now a much more effective studier.

I have noticed also the maturity in me has grown as I remember beginning the year walking into a lecture theatre of 550 students and feeling out of place, however there is no ackwardness now when I climb over seats infront of that many people to get to my seat in the third row back (apparently the best place for efficient learning).

My organisation has also improved, as I took over many of the roles of leadership at my flat over the course of the year and have set up my next year's flat completely. I first took over the position of paying rent every week; I delegated someone to do flat shopping (the idea infact disintergrated and is no longer in existence due to several reasons); a Bible Study was set up every morning at 7am with cooked breakfast, later reconstructed to a Thursday morning Bible Study due to fatigue of Uni students attending ;) ); I enquired about flatting next year, acquired 5 guys and spoke to the landlord and current residents of the flat I wanted to move into, have worked out the finances of next year's flat and have delegated flat shopping to a committed individual; set up an action group at university for discussions with a couple of pre-christians; and have used my diary extensively to time my studying, meetings, lectures, laboratorys and social events. Though this proccess of being more organised began to develop last year (with Jason as my Growth Coach) I had no immediate need to change my habits and so did very little to.

And lastly, this year I have primarily introduced myself with my nickname Rayd. This was a decision I made at the beginning of the year. For several reasons. For a start, I wanted a permanent reminder that I was to shine God's Radiance wherever I went, this was especially significant in Dunedin, a place I had heard was spiritually dark. Secondly, I wanted a reminder of Opawa Baptist Youthgroup as it has been a significant part of my life and it was there that the name Rayd was given to me. This also extends to part of my dream to work at least to some degree as a youth worker being made evident in my life. Why? Because for one, the name is from a youth group and two, because if I am to radiate God out of my life then I must live right and to be in a position of leadership I must be living right, or my influence will lead others astray. Thirdly,but not so significantly, Andrew is a very common name and as an easy way to leave an impact in places I go, a unique name that people will not easily forget is simple and impacting.

That's a small update/retrospective glance of the happenings of Rayd this year.
Janei,
Rayd

Fear

2007-07-28T14:39:00.000+12:00

What is fear?

I was thinking about this today as I was walking to Uni.

The way I see fear is realising the consequences to particular actions and therefore avoiding facing those consequences by avoiding the actions.

For example, If one fears heights they are aware of the consequences of falling (injury or death) and so avoids heights.

Simple?

You can apply the same to God. If one fears God, they are aware of the consequences of disobeying Him and thus avoid disobeying Him.

Which is good, because that is part of the way we are to perceive God. He has the power to destroy everything in our life in a second. That's certainly something to be feared.

So lack of fear is defined as "not realising the consequences of a particular action and therefore inviting it"?

So a man with a lack of fear of heights can stand on the edge of a building without worrying about the consequence if he should fall and die because he has put that thought out of his mind.

But what about a man who knows well the consequence of falling but welcomes it. Does he fear heights?

Perhaps a better definition of lack of fear is "not realising the negative consequences of a particular action outweigh the positive consequences of the action and therefore inviting it"

So to put in a wider perspective; A man that has no fear of God is one who either ignores the truth that God is omnipotent and omniscient, or has decided that the "benefits" of rejecting God are greater than the benefits of fearing Him.

So that includes not only those who do not know God, do no understand that He is real, but also those who know Him but do not trust, rely and depend on Him.

The Bible tells us to fear only God. So should we not fear heights, animals, materials, blood, death, etc?

How do we practically apply that to our lives?

Life of Rayd: June-July

2007-07-09T23:04:00.000+12:00

There's been a lot I haven't said in the past few weeks of my life.

So much time has gone by since my last post infact that I can't remember most of what has happened in my life in all that time.

But I'll try and broadly put things in perspective.

Life is going good.

After exams, I headed back up to Christchurch for a while. Had a bit of a break. Caught up with some people whose presence I have greatly missed. What really touched me the most was I felt as though the relationships I have with those people haven't declined or fallen away.

My last week in Christchurch I spent in Living Springs at a conference called "Tune In"
My time was well spent! Two speakers, Justin O'Malley and John Lamb, two really down to earth and real guys talked to us (attendees of the conference were Student Lifers) about what it means to be a Christian. We were well encouraged in our seminars to effectively evangelise to the pre-Christians in the world and to discliple those Spiritually younger than us. John Lamb had a "guys-only" talk where he addressed the issues that face young Christian guys in everyday life.
There was a Rockstar evening where we all danced like nobody was watching (I'm really hoping they didn't get any footage of my dancing, could be quite embarrasing)
A day was spent preparing and going on an outreach in Riccarton. We did a survey for Christchurch Family Baptist Church (Or similar name...) and then chatted to people in their homes about Jesus.
The last evening was the Starlight Symphony Banquet where we all dressed up nice and had a fancy dinner. The discourse was simply delightful.

Starting the semester again has been, in the words of Marshall Mathers, a snap back to reality*. It has caused me to re-tune my focus on my workload and my overall goal. I've picked up another study partner which I know will be of great help this semester. The more the merrier!

So that's me.

*I am well aware Mathers was using a well-known cliche in his lyrics, but thought I would add it in for a little bit of substance in the paragraph. Did it work? It did didn't it?

Dance, dance, dance in the freedom we know

2007-06-09T20:33:00.000+12:00

We’re gonna dance, dance, dance
In the freedom we know
Because the freedom we know
Is gonna last forever
Mighty To Save, Hillsong Music Australia

Why do Churches in New Zealand not dance and sing for joy when we worship God? Should we not dance for the joy of our Salvation?

It's true, in countries in Africa, like Nigeria, it is part of the culture to dance. It's not in New Zealand... or other first world countries.

So does being developed mean we lose the joy of our Salvation?
Does the church follow society or society follow the church?
Can we not worship the King of all Kings, the Lord over all cultures in any way acceptable to Him?

Back in Dunedin

2007-06-06T20:42:00.000+12:00

So now that I'm back...

Exams draw nigh.
This is it, the final calling.
The flight bound for pharmacy.
Via Second Semester Health Science.
All I need is my ticket.
Which can be bought with studying.

So that's what I'm doing.
Getting out of the flat and heading to the airport.
Well on my way to reaching my destination.
The first check comes on Friday.
I'll be ready, with my blood, sweat and tears.
A price deemed worthy.
Or atleast I think.

I guess the test on Friday will decide for me.
Pray for a safe journey.

Rayd

Christchurch Road Trip

2007-06-06T19:20:00.000+12:00

So here's what happened over the weekend...

I was sitting in The Link on Friday afternoon. Sundeia sat down next to Heide and I and asked what we were doing over the weekend. I thought about it: study on Saturday, Church on Sunday, gym on Sunday afternoon...that's about my whole weekend summed up. Then Sundeia exclaimed she was going to Christchurch! 20 Seconds later, so was I.

So I headed off to do a fundraiser I was part of, finished the fundraiser by about 7pm and said good riddance to the land of blue and gold. Arriving at my parent's house at around 12.30 I quietly unlocked the door, tiptoed softly up stairs to my bedroom, most cautious creeping passed my parent's bedroom. Then waking up the next morning I heard someone awaken, waiting patiently until they got into the shower, I slyly went to the toilet, loudly flushing, and sat down at the dining table with a bowl of cereal. Five minutes later, Mum walked into the kitchen with a surprised look on her face. "What are you doing here?" she asked. I told her I lived there, but apparantly I've been gone too long for that to seem believable.

So after the shock, I made myself at home and opened the pantry door to shelves abundant in all things that make a man's mouth dribble.

The real point of this blog though is to talk about the A Mazing events of Sunday night.

It all started with me deciding to go hang out with Stephen Jaegar. We got into the car and started heading into the port hills (Up to the seat). Stephen stated that we might as well go grab some coffee from Coffee Culture (as he works there). When we arrived at CC, Stephen's workmates asked him if there was anything at his church for people who had been kicked out of home. We went back to my parent's place to ring up a few people in the phone directory. After about 20 mins of calling Stephen and Mark went back down to CC to pick up the girl (Amy). By the time they got back, it had been decided that she was staying with us for the night.
I'll just tell you Amy's story (hope she doesn't mind). Amy's mum had basically put her in a car and driven her across town to Cashmere and dropped her off, penniless and deserted for the night. Having already tried ringing the Salvation Army and other such organisations without much success she was left in an ackward position.
She said to me at Coffee Culture, "I'm sorry I wrecked your night." I thought, "No Way! I live for this stuff!" But it just came out as, "No Way!"

So in the Morning we ate pancakes and dropped Amy off to work, having had some great discussions and leaving her with a really positive view of Christianity, and the knowledge of a place she can crash next time she's down and out.

The amazing thing about it though was the reflection I had as we travelled back down to Otago. I thought of all the spontaneous decisions made in the last couple of days.
Going up to Christchurch, Txting Stephen and not anyone else on Sunday night, Turning the car up the hill toward the seat, Coming back down the hill to get a coffee, Stephen having let his workmates know he was Christian and them asking about looking after this girl Amy.

Just made me think, if I hadn't gone up to Christchurch, where would Amy have slept.
And thinking about it, why did I decide to go to Christchurch?
I don't believe in coincidences.
But I do believe in God using me as an instrument.

"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." James 1:27

Life of Radiance

2007-05-21T21:32:00.000+12:00

I let one of my flatmates in on one of my passwords the other day and he responded,
"do you think you're special or like God's chosen or something being 'radiance' and all?"
I responded in my defence straight away saying no. However, I then thought about it later on in the day and it occurred to me, I do think I'm special and I do think I'm God's chosen, but I also think I'm no more special than anyone else and that anyone that accepts God as their father through the adoption Jesus Christ offers is also a child of God and therefore God's chosen.

I had an exam on Saturday morning. I think it's my last exam until the end of semester 1. Yay!! Every week morning my flat gets up for Bible Study. We also cook breakfast and have it open to anyone who wants to come along. At the moment we are looking at the fruit of the Spirit. I went to Countdown this evening to fundraise with Student Life for the conference in the next holidays. Sold a good number of sausages. Anyway, I'm gonna need to go and get some study done or I'm not going to pass my end of semester exams. Ciao.

Rayd

Karaoke, Windows and Exams

2007-05-05T16:15:00.000+12:00

Alright, a bit of an update on my life in the past few days.

On thursday night: Zoanna and I headed down to the Cook (student pub) to meet StudentLife (Christian Group) so we could help out with the singstar from a van they were setting up outside. We warmed up our vocal chords on the way there by singing wildly "Oh Danny Boy" and "There's A River Of Life" (probably looked like drunkards ourselves). Basically we got there and along with 20 or so other Student Lifers we entertained drunk students by allowing them to compete against each other in singstar! (gave them a break from drinking continuously) It provided great opportunities to explain why we were there and what we believed. (and also to make sure that there weren't people so drunk they couldn't make it home again). And yes I did sing, to a delta goodrum song actually. I sang against a drunk guy (he chose the song) whose friend was trying to put me off because I winning by so much. (must have been the warming up) and I even sang in false-seto (not bad huh?).

If you can keep up with me, and get around all those brackets (...) then we'll move to Friday.

On Friday: nothing really interesting happened. Watched a movie though - Million Dollar Baby. It's probably worth watching if you haven't seen it. However, I did accidently lock myself out of my room and thus attempted to break in through a slightly opened window. I climbed on the roof through the bathroom window and edged along until I got to my room. There I used a coathanger to try and unhook the lock. unsuccessfully. So my flatmate Zoanna came out on the roof and stuck her arm in the window and reached across to the latch. Unfortuently her arm was a little to short for the window. So I had my turn. Just before my arm reached the latch a suddenly shattering noise occurred. I stood unmoved for about 2 seconds before I realised that yes, that shattering noise was the noise of my window shattering. Doh! But atleast I got into my room right? Another second and I would have had that window unlocked, but there's no use crying over spilt milk. I did need to get into my room that night anyway, but I think next time I might try to pick the lock before I try anything tricky. I didn't notice at the time, probably due to the shock, that a small portion of the glass had landed on me (my arm being on one side of the glass and my body on the other when it shattered) Nothing a good night's sleep won't heal though.

Come Saturday(aka today): I had to get up early to sit an exam, which was why I didn't do a lot on Friday. I think it turned out alright, but I guess the results will show.

That's all from me.
janei,
Rayd

Sunday Thinkings

2007-04-15T23:04:00.001+12:00

Just a couple of thoughts I had today. Happened to have pen and paper on me when I thought them so I wrote them down.

The kewl thing about being saved is that our only burden is the weight of the Bible we are carrying.

Being in this world means we are called to change it. Just like missionaries go to a country to bring about change, we in a wider sense, as Christians everywhere are called to bring about change. To start in our everyday lives. Our schools, universities, workplaces, our streets. The world is our missionfield!

Many Christians have given away everything and then been finacially ruined and it is often used as an example of being careful that what you "think" God is telling you isn't stupid. Well perhaps God still is in it. Perhaps the point of givng it all away and not being blessed is really just God testing those people's faith at the extreme. At poverty. Because it's in the toughest times that people's hearts are truly tested. And those who hold dear to their faith in the Lord during these times are the ones who will indeed be blessed when they come out of it on the other side.

Just a few of my thoughts...

Sunday Thinkings

2007-04-15T23:04:00.000+12:00

Reason for the Season

2007-04-11T17:34:00.000+12:00

I've labelled this title as "reason for the season" not because I had something to say, but because I haven't updated for almost a month again and if I'm to talk about something then talking about Easter has to be included in my little update.

So I'm back from Dunedin for a few days. Rebecca came and picked me up and drove me to EasterCamp. Something was very different about Eastercamp this year. I guess it was probably due to no longer having an active part in OBY as well as being 18 now (feel more like I'm there for the youthgroup rather than me).
The speakers were really inspiring though and I think when they talked it wasn't just intended for the youth.
I met up with a lot of people from Christchurch that I haven't seen for a long time. I even was told by a non-christian friend that his sister went to Eastercamp. One thing that annoyed me though was that the lincoln youthgroup doubled its numbers to 90 odd this year from 45ish last year, yet though Opawa is growing, the youthgroup is reasonably stable. I can't complain, I'm not doing anything about it, I'm not even in the same city, and Lincoln is near a university, but I do think Opawa Baptist Youthgroup needs prayer so that God can use it to bring so many people into His kingdom as well as growing those already in it to become more and more disciples of Christ.

And here's where the title comes in... Eastercamp is important because there are so many people out there that don't know God and they don't know what Easter is really about. As simple as it is, people need to understand that Jesus is God's son; that He took the weight of our sins, our wrong doings, on His shoulders; that He hung to a cross, innocent; that on the Third day after His death, His payment for us, His disciples were turned away from His grave by angels telling them, "why do you seek the living among dead?", because Jesus not only died for what we do wrong because He loves us so much, but that He rose again and sent His spirit to live in us, to mould us, change us, into the children we were always meant to be. It's the Lord Jesus Christ that makes us whole, that makes us people, that makes us alive! That's what people need to hear about Easter, not some message about how you can treat yourself to a holiday, a break filled with sweets and relaxation. You're relaxing because your heart no longer has to worry about trying to become whole. Jesus has already made you whole!

It's called the good news because it is! I've talked to people who aren't Christian, they only want to be happy in life, to find something that fillfulls them. Maybe getting a good job will make them happier, maybe finding friends that will always be there, can always be counted on, maybe money, maybe holidays. Well the truth is, the job will never change your heart, you work until you no longer can anymore and you always work to get higher, the sky is endless; your friends have their own lives, and they're looking out for number one foremost, as soon as the situation becomes you or them, they'll look after themselves; money only ever makes you want more money; holidays have to end, or they become permanence!

Nothing in life fulfills you like Jesus. Don't forget the reason for the season!!!

I spent the weekend before Eastercamp in a little town out of Dunedin. We talked about Evangelism and the need to actively talk to people about God. Before Christ left the disciples and ascended into Heaven He said to them one more thing (perhaps the most important thing Jesus had to say [ie, if someone is about to die and can talk to their son one more time, won't they say the most important thing they can think of?]). Jesus told the disciples to go and make disciples of all nations. That means that we need to show people who He is, and show them how to live His life! So on Saturday, we went into Dunedin and talked to students about God. Because I know that I cannot give up God now, I can't walk away, because I know He is real! There is something inside me that knows this and I can't ignore it. Nor should I contain it, because it wants to get out and tell others what I've got. It's something in me that wants to see places like OBY grow, in numbers, in love, in support, and discipleship.

Every Christian is called to evangelise. And we should do that by living a life that follows Jesus, and by telling people who He really is, and taking them to events like Eastercamp, Greg Laurie, Impact World Tour, Parachute, etc so that they can hear other Christians talk of what an exciting life living for God really is!

I think one of the most important things for Christians is to live humbly. To not boast about how good we are at things. "What have we got that we haven't been given, and if we've been given it how can we boast?" Money, power, wealth, possessions, abilities. We're all only stewards of God's things. So why fight between ourselves, why show off, why cause pain and grief to each other? If we all just lived to serve God foremost, and to serve others (so they can grow closer in their relationship with God), then there won't be problems. You want an answer to world peace? Turn everyone Christian! Please note I'm using the world Christian by it's actual meaning, to be a follower of Christ Jesus! This has nothing to do with religion - that causes wars or acts as the scapegoat. No, If people lived lives to actively "make change contagious", to bring about a revolution that demands peace, that demands humility, that demands love - the things Jesus demanded. Then there will be peace, and humility and love, and it will spread throughout the world like a bush fire in 40degree (celsius) heat. Come on people, let's make change contagious!

Laptop problems

2007-03-22T16:23:00.000+12:00

Hey all!
Haven't updated for a while. I have a reason. I took my laptop into The Laptop Company because when I bought it it came with a free 6month check-up, and there was a problem with it when I shutdown (the longer I had it on, the more "End Now" messages I would get after I pushed shutdown, so basically I had to physically stand next to my computer for five minutes everytime I shutdown and push enter until it finally closed). So because of this annoying problem I took it in, being told two days, three tops. A week later I am still without laptop, so I go in and enquire. Apparently the technician ran a virus check through it (which he said picked up no viruses) then proceeded to restart the computer, as part of the procedure. After which the computer would not turn on (started blue-screening). So instead of telling me, he decided to wait until a more qualified technician got back from holiday to tell him what to do.
So I went in a few days later...
The more "qualified" technician was in there and he told me a totally different story: that there was a virus, attached to an important, and essential file, and the virus scan deleted the virus and in doing so, deleted the file, thus preventing my computer having the right files to turn itself on.
(this is where I begin to think that I am being exploited as a student who doesn't have a wide knowledge on computers)
"But that's OK" he says, "there is a solution." All I have to do is send down my recovery disc from Christchurch (because they don't want to use one from their supply room) and he will be ever so kind to wipe my computer of everything and start from scratch. What a nice man! Oh but if I want the data on it then I'll have to pay $120 and they'll keep that there for me (and even give me a data disc with my name on it).
So I begin to contemplate this, I've not had my computer for about 2 weeks, it's extremely hard to study without one (a lot of course required activities are on the internet, and I have to use dial-up at my flat, which isn't working right now, or que for a computer in the library which means I have to walk to uni, and que and then I become very pressed for time.), I have most music, movies, etc backed up in Christchurch, but I don't have documents, files, programmes, calendars, etc backed up and losing all that would put me further behind having to try and reinstall, re-programme, etc during this critical time (mid-semester exam on Saturday, etc)

So nice the man has given me an option. My money or my data.
Yes it's partly my fault for not backing up more regularly, but I honestly didn't think that taking my laptop in for a free check-up would result in reformatting my computer (I'm still quite sure that I'm being exploited).

Anyway, my laptop isn't the only thing in my life, it's just something that is really frustrating me at the moment.

My flat is going well, I pulled out my fire-pois last night and we all had a go at them. When I get my laptop back, I'm planning on setting up a spreadsheet on how much I spend every week/month to see what I need to cut down on, and to get an overview of my costs.

I'm part of Student Life down here. There is always something to do on Saturday night and Wednesday afternoon. I'm also part of one of the small groups there. Going well. There are four of us in the group: Matt (leader), Ben, Jonno and myself. I hope to go on the Student Life camp the weekend before Easter. (If my timetable gets busier then I'll have to pull out).

Classes are going well, will be picking up a Biblical Studies paper as my 8th subject (because I don't like physics very much).

I'm in one club, the "fire performance and juggling" club. It's only on a Wednesday evening, and so I've still got lots of time to study (without a laptop).

I'm gonna be heading back to chch during Easter. To go to EasterCamp, and to have some of mum's cooking again!!!

So that's about me.

2007-02-23T14:46:00.000+13:00

So I've been in Dunedin for about two weeks now. I've got my I.D card; I've sat my English Diagnostic test; getting on well with the flatties (who are all here now); and until monday, when my course starts, I'm pretty relaxed. The first flat meeting is on Sunday afternoon. That's where we are discussing shopping, cooking, dishes, lounge suite, everything pretty much.

I've been to a couple of churches but I'm still gonna have a good look around. However I do know a few faces and names from the local Salvation Army church which I've attended several functions with, and a couple of people from Nations (a student dominated church on campus. Very big). The people in caversham baptist and caversham community that I know are a little far away to get to every sunday (other side of town) when I don't have a car, so those churches may be quite difficult to attend regularly.

The Diagnostic test I did consisted of 4 parts. Listening to a lecturer on a tape recorder and then answering questions about what he said, Dictating some sentences, Reading a text and answering questions about it's content, and writing an essay based on a controversial issue.
The test was not extremely hard but it was a lot harder than I was told it would be (was told it was like year 7-8 tests). The thing about my sitting the test is that I actually benefit more if I failed. The reason being for this is because as a health science student I am required to take 7 set subjects. I can, however, take an eighth. If I take the eighth subject then the seven subjects at the end of the course with the highest marks are the only marks that count. Therefore people usually choose an eighth subject that they find easy. I haven't taken an eighth subject. If I fail this diagnostic test then I am required to take English as my eighth subject. Because the english paper is not very difficult it will be one of my highest marked papers and therefore I would not be required to do so well in another subject I sit.
In saying that, I haven't tried to fail the diagnostic test, I just excersised the freedom of enjoyment in my essay writing. If I do fail the test then I am required to get atleast 50% in my English throughout the year or I drop out of health science. So it's not the smartest thing to fail the test because you do run the risk of not continuing a career in health sciences.

Anyway, that's all I really have to say at the moment.
Janei,
Rayd

Update from the deep South

2007-02-13T13:12:00.000+13:00

Yellow and blue flags fly from lamposts above my head as I walk through the streets toward the University Campus. I walked these streets last night. A new flatmate arrived and her friend lives in a flat a block from where we do. So we visited and then came home via the botanical gardens. So far now, there are five of us at the flat. Keiran, Rob, Thelma, Zoanna and myself.
It's good getting to know them all and their friends. We still have one flat mate yet to arrive though. Uni starts soon. I've already set up my university computer account. It means I can use their internet now. :D

Not much is really happening now until Uni starts so I'm preoccupying myself by familiarising myself with the city layout. (It's not exactly very big or complicated)

My room is all set up and I'm really happy with the size and fitting, etc.

I'm happy to host anyone coming down for a day or two (but it would be a bit harder to host more than probably two people - my room isn't massive)

Anyway, until I've got something to talk about I won't bother updating (probably until uni starts.)

Just thought I would let you all know I'm still alive...
Janei,
Rayd

Update 07

2007-02-02T00:14:00.000+13:00

Alright, I've been slack. I deserve more than one slap on the wrist, but atleast I've finally got another update. I realise that this update is going to be quite long so before I write out the going ons and happenings in my life for the last while in detail, I'll write out a quick overview (because I know that for some reason I never was able to fix, some people cannot view my full webpage).

So without further ado, my life...

The new year began at my friend's flat with my school friends on one of our last get togethers before we all split up and go off in our own ways.
6 days later Mark and I set off on a plane to Sydney, Australia for 11 days of shopping and relaxing.
On the 26th January Mark and I were back at the airport again, but this time with Amy, Roanna, Leeanne, Michael, Lydia and Jessica. We were off to Parachute 07 where we spent 4 days in Hamilton in a state of delirium (though Delirious was not present this year).
Youth Group began again with an awesome kickoff Wednesday night.
Thursday I bought Fire Pois.
Tonight I intend to use them.
Saturday I am going to my school friends' Sell-Everything-In-Order-To-Go-To-Aus-To-Live garage sale, as well as going to Jason's new house to do some damage with a hammer or my foot.
My friend from Dunedin is coming up in the weekend so I'll do something with him probably in the evening.
Next Tuesday I think I'm having a going away party (not organising so I'm not sure on details- will keep posted)
On the 10th I am heading down to Dunedin with a trailer and carload of stuff - my stuff- and moving into my new flat in Dunedin.

So that is the outline. It's getting so late that I'm almost thinking I should write this some other time but I know that the task is big enough I will never get around to it, so now that no-one is online to distract me from writing a long due post... here goes.

I've already said all I'm going to say about new year's so I'll just skip on to the next part of my life...
Sydney was full of adventure and excitement. Most importantly though, I got to relax and be free from the busy over-cluttered scheldule my life had become. We (Mark and I) went to the Tennis with our Aunty and Uncle, we travelled by train, ferry, bus, monorail to various places throughout Sydney, visited the Opera House (stood outside/on), met friends, shopped, went to the Olympic park, lay on beaches, climbed rocks, hung out with our Cousins, etc. I think I could find my way all over central Sydney now! One of the highlights was going to Hillsong Church and later on their youthgroup for a night at the beach.

I've just come back from Parachute where I saw bands like Hillsong, Thirdday, Detour180, CallingElijah, Magnify, Spacifix, Dave Dobbyn, Shawn McDonald, and many others. I was kept awake by cups and cups of coffee. It was certainly hard to leave on the monday.

On Tuesday night, Warwick, Rebecca and Jessica S took me out to dinner as a going away goodbye. I enjoyed it.

On Wednesday evening Youth Group went to Corsair Bay and had a BBQ on the beach as a welcome to the start of the year and a new year of youthgroup! (It's saddening that youthgroup will not be a big part of my life this year.) There was a big turn out and it really made something move inside me to see all the people who were going to have so much fun during the year, all the leaders whose faces were lit up from answered prayer, and potential of more growth and more displaying of love into our community and beyond.

Thursday afternoon I bought some firepois so I can learn lots of fire tricks when I go to Dunedin. Then in the evening I went to Jessica Stewart's Birthday party at the Blue Jean Cuisine.

On Saturday Jason is tearing down (or doing something) to his new house that involves demolition. I don't wanna miss breaking stuff. Three of my friends are going to the Gold Coast to live and they need to get rid off most of what they own as they can't take it with them. I think, as I'm going flatting in less than two weeks, that I should see what stuff I can scavenge at decently cheap prices. My brother Josh from Dunedin is heading up this weekend so I wanna go hang out with him some time probably Saturday night.

I think Mum is organising a good bye party for me on Waitangi day (Tuesday) but I'll have to ask her what is happening before I post anymore on this because at present Everyone is talking to me about it informing me that I'm having a party (I knew Mum wanted to organise one because she asked waht day was suitable for me, but I wasn't aware she had it so organised that other people knew all about it) When I find more info I will post!!

So the 10th is the big day that I move. Into my flat of 6. A 6floor flat/apartment-like building. I haven't met all my flatmates yet, but I'm sure there will be many exciting stories about my life with my flatmates that I would be eager to share on my blog in the not so far future. But this likes about all I think I can write at this time where I'm too tired to think of anything witty or interesting to say. SO I'll end it here by saying that if you're up as late as I am reading blogs or writing your own blog, then GO TO BED, God made use tired for a reason!

Blessings to all who read,
Rayd

Mobile Phones

2007-01-01T19:54:00.000+13:00

Has anyone heard the story featured on a programme like Close Up or Homes a while ago where a girl was talking about how she had a really good phone number (like 027 1001000) and someone rang up telecom and got the number changed to their phone? It was that easy, and she had a lot of trouble getting her number back.

Well, I've just spend the last two hours on the phone to a Telecom lady trying to find out why my mobile can't send messages, can't call any numbers, can't receive messages, or anything since yesterday afternoon. Finally I was transfered to someone else and they told me that someone had got their old number changed to my number but they didn't know more than that because theTelecom person who did the change over didn't leave any notes about it and apparantly they are supposed to leave details about everything they do so other Telecom people can find information quickly.

So my number has been stolen. If anyone has sent any messages to me in the last couple of days then this is why I haven't texted back, I'm also sorry to all those people who I tried to wish happy new year but couldn't end up wishing them anything.

Wednesday the 3rd is when shops open again (because of public holidays), some may open tomorrow so I will go to a Telecom shop tomorrow or Wednesday and try and get my number back, along with all the money that was on my phone.

Other than this, I had a really fun New Year's Eve that I spent with my friends from school.
I'm now living back at home, since Stephen and Debbie are back from their holiday.
In 5 days I'm leaving to go to Sydney, Australia!

Holidays

2006-12-08T13:09:00.000+13:00

Wow, it's been about a month since I updated. Time has gone by quickly. It's holidays for me now. Long sleep ins, lots to do in afternoons. Tonight is the OBY formal dinner + Disco. However, my friends are leaving to Australia to live and so they are having a goodbye party the same night. I'm going to the formal dinner but then I'm going to shoot off to get to the end of my friends' party.

Come to think of it, every OBY formal I've ever been to, I've done something after it. I remember about two years ago when Amy, Kaleb and I went into town to the Crown Plaza to have a coffee. Last year, I remember going to Randal and Kate's friend's house and then I think Stephen, Lydia and I went to a movie afterwards (I remember we planned it, but don't remember if we actually ended up going to the movie).

This, I hope, won't be my last OBY formal for a while. Even with me going down south, I plan on coming back up in the holidays, and the OBY formal is during the holidays. It's a night you can look forward to the whole year, and it's not about going with someone (like the school formals are) but rather about going with everyone.

There are several tasks I set myself these holidays. I recently bought dozens and dozens of Christian books that I intended to read these holidays, and as of yet, I've not picked up one. Another thing was tidying my room, or rather, cleaning out my room. My room is generally tidy, but there are always parts of it that are filled with junk. I want to retidy my whole room and clear the cobwebs from all the things that just sit in my room taking up space, serving no purpose. That job has been started, but is still underconstruction.

Next weekend, I want to go down to dunedin to check out some flats. I'm praying that more people will offer me their flat, so I can choose between several options. (So far I have had one guy offer me his flat [sounds really good], and one girl is alright with me joining her flat but she hasn't got a flat yet [she has the number of flatmates she wants, and lives in dunedin so should be able to find a flat fairly quickly]) Prayers for me would be much appreciated.

Last monday I went to the dentist for a filling, the numbing thing he used reacted with my body and a day later I was covered in an itchi red rash from sculp to sole. Fortunately the rash only lasted 2days. Then when I got up the next morning to go to the doctors, the rash had gone. Thanks for prayer (Amy), and lots of claratyne, and hydrocortisone cream (becks).

School Finished...FOREVER!

2006-11-16T14:23:00.000+13:00

Yesterday was my last full day of school, and so on Tuesday night a couple of pranks were played in the late hours of the night.

Arriving at 8pm I was kicked off the property by the caretaker, Phil, with the threat of police being called. A security guard was being hired for the night to keep watch. So there went the idea of building an tropical island on the "sacred lawn" with a moat filled with water and bubbles (detergent); and the idea of moving all the chairs from classrooms and hiding in the PAC (assembly hall). Therefore A new plan had to be contstructed. Most people went home. But in the end eight of us remained and it was decided to go and get white and red paint and draw crime-scene body outlines on concrete around the school, with fake blood to match. A few hours later, and the last outline drawn on the library steps, the final words were written, "R.I.P Class Of 2006"
At that, a man came running towards us. We never saw his face, a second later we scattered. And when meeting up again we started to jump the gate on our way out, only to find other students had decided to come after-all. We followed the group to se what pranks they were playing. Several groups emerged. One group dug a hole in the "sacred lawn", constructed a pond and had a manikin of the year 13 Head of School fishing in it. Another group carboard-boxed up the canteen. A third group, which must have come after I had left, painted the trunk of the "sacred tree". And the fourth group, which also must have come later, cemented the locks of some of the Block doors. A fifth person came and spray painted "Prince Raquim" on the "sacred lawn" (his alias)

The next morning, the Principal and Head of School were very angry. I had been told to be creative and not destructive with my prank. The reason we did our prank was because it was creative, and paint does come off concrete. People were asked to come forward with who did what or we would have to pay for repairs instead of going to Leaver's Dinner. Mr Turnball thought the tree was going to die because of the paint, he was so upset.

No-one tried to conceil who did what. That is one thing about talking to 7th formers, we are atleast honest by the time we are 17-18yrs.
The following punishments were inflicted on each of the members of the groups.
Team Crime-Scene: Will have to pay cost of removing paint from concrete
Team Pond: No punishment
Team Canteen: No punishment
Team Tree: Stood down, don't graduate high school, miss Leaver's Dinner
Team Concrete: Stood down, don't graduate high school, miss Leaver's Dinner
Prince Raquim: Stood down, don't graduate high school, miss Leaver's Dinner

Today I had one period of school to go to. So we all brought something and had a breakfast. Then my year group rehearsed for our graduation tonight, after which I came home.
So now, I have five exams, each three hours long, no more classes. And I am finished school forever. (given that university doesn't count as a school).

Weekend of Fishing

2006-11-06T10:09:00.000+13:00

Fishing
This weekend Stephen Jaegar, Pete Koppes, David K, Liam, and I went to Lake Pearson to fish. Although I caught nothing, I really enjoyed the experience of game fishing. Steve was the only one who got a bite (and a catch too) over the trip. I plan on going on more trips and will most likely buy a season fishing licence.
After getting back and going to work, I then went to Church where Steve Taylor talked about saints and how anyone can go out and do things that other people recognise as Godly. It was a challenge for us to go out and be saints. However some of us had to leave half way through the service in order to go to the pier fireworks display.

While walking towards the pier some teenagers in front of us were lighting fireworks as they too heading in the pier's direction and so we had fireworks over our head the whole walk there. The display was really good (does saying spectacular sound too cliched?) and then afterwards we hung around for a bit, ate some toffee, and headed home.

I was too tired from the weekend to get up for the rugby at 4:30 down at church.

I'm thinking about ideas for fundraising for parachute. We have decided that if we can raise $500 of cash from donations then I will shave my head along with Mark Wilson, (maybe Jason King too, and anyone else willing to), Stephen Jaegar is considering getting his legs epilated, Jessica Moore will have her eyebrows waxed. So I'm thinking, funds aren't likely to just be given but there is these cards you can buy, which have scratchies on them and you ask someone to scratch one or two circles and underneath is an amount from $1-$3 that they donate you. I think it's quite a good idea, but it soley relies on people's generousity (or desire to see guys with no hair, Jess with no eyebrows, and Stephen in a lot of pain). Any thoughts on whether we should get the cards or just stick to plain generousity. (The cards cost about $20 each but there is an 80% profit in each of them)

Eddy Rescue

2006-10-30T22:12:00.000+13:00

Haven't updated for a while. Labour day "Hoharata" mission to rescue Edson was successful. However Edson is still presently too traumatised from the experience and it can be confirmed that he has not spoken even one word since his capture. (fortunately we can be sure he gave the terrorists no inside information). A video of our mission is currently being constructed and adjusted. In cinemas November 20th - ish.

So, this week has been quite busy with school and all. By all I mean youthgroups, fairs, spring clean, church services, movie night, work, fundraising, and tonight a meeting for christian groups in schools in Christchurch. I'm not actually a leader of the group but I went because I wanted some ideas for getting involved in a highschool/primary school christian group next year one day a week.

Learned some good things I would like to put to practice sometime in the future.
Hopefully sooner than later

So that's my update. quite broad really.

First Day OBY06

2006-10-22T18:28:00.000+13:00

I started the first day getting up early and watching the sunrise, during which I had to epiphanies.

First, Following God is like the sunrise. Sometimes people get up bright and early so they can see the sun as soon as it rises. But in doing so they miss the beauty of the rise. It’s the rising that people look on in awe, not the first sight of the sun. Sometimes people pay so much attention to salvation that they forget that there’s beauty in a life of following Him.

The second epiphany I got as I walked around the fields. I drew close to one cow. Instead of the cow running away frightened it drew closer to me. As soon as it took a step forward other cows saw the first and started running towards me until a large group congregated and formed a massive support group for the first cow. It made me think, we need to be like those cows; to form a group when one of us is threatened, to support each other. But that requires one of us to stand up in faith, to take a step forward. That means drawing closer to an enemy, or the unknown. Because when one of us takes a stand against something others see that in them and are inclined to do the same.

They were my thoughts, when I got home from camp today I had someone diss me because the "anti-Cashmere Christian Crew" at school was banned. I didn't even know there was a group. But I looked at his webpage and he is the most anti guy I know, he fully puts down anyone who doesn't (conform) believe the same views as him yet preaches about individualism. He targets "emos", christians and many other groups.
I posted a comment back on his page, I wonder if it was a little too harsh...

"Ryan, I've not even heard about the ACCC until now, I can imagine what it is. To be honest I don't care if you want to start a group. I've been reading your bebo page and to be honest, if you really believe that christianity is like you voice then you have never opened your eyes. You hate christians just because we have found purpose. Have you? I would like to see you live in a world without Chrisitians, without Christ, without God. No consitutions, no laws, no good. Sorry buddy but you'd be killing the glue that holds this world together. Have your group; sit around and talk about how you hate the world. It's rooted from the hate you have of yourself. From the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. This is my opinion I'm entitled to. I agree you're entitled to yours too"

Too harsh?

The Tuesday before Wednesday which is tomorrow

2006-10-17T20:56:00.000+13:00

Today at school I was told I had about a week to come up with a "last words" and a "likely fate" to put next to my name for the school year book. Fortunetly I've got a week because I can't think at all what to write. I want it to be something funny and memorable. Any suggestions?

I also got my hair cut today then spent the afternoon window shopping with two lovely ladies (aka, following them around acting interested in the clothing like a good boy)
The hair cut is short so now I can play soccer without getting my hair in my eyes.

I'll keep this post short and simple, so... the end.

Who I Am In Christ

2006-10-10T15:48:00.000+13:00

I am a child of God

John 1:12; Romans 8:14, 15; Galatians 3:26

I am created in God’s image

Genesis 1:26

I am the light of the world

Matt 5:14

I am the salt of the earth

Matt 5:13

I am part of the true vine, and Christ’s life flows through me

John 15:1, 5

I am Christ’s friend

John 15:15

I am chosen by Christ to bear fruit

John 15:16

I am Christ’s personal witness sent out to tell everyone about Him

Acts 1:8

I am a temple – a dwelling place - for God, His Spirit and His life lives in me

1Cor 3:16, 6:19

I am joined forever with the Lord and am one spirit with Him

1Cor 6:17

I am a new person. My past has been forgiven and everything is new

2Cor 5:17

I am at peace with God, and He has given me the work of helping others find peace with Him

2Cor 5:18, 19

I am a saint, a holy person

Ephesians 1:1, Philippians 1:1, Colossians 1:2

I am a citizen of heaven with all of God’s family

Ephesians 2:19

I am righteous and Holy

Ephesians 4:24

I am an expression of the life of Christ because He is my life

Colossians 3:4

I am chosen of God, Holy and dearly loved

Colossians 3:12, 1 Thessalonians 1:4

I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a Holy nation, a people belonging to God

1 Peter 2:9, 10

I am only a visitor to this world in which I temporarily live

1 Peter 2:11

I am an enemy of the devil

1 Peter 5:8

I am born again in Christ and the evil one, the devil, cannot touch me

1 John 5:18

I am assured that all things work together for good

Romans 8:28

I am free from any condemning charges against me

Romans 8:33-34

I cannot be separated from the love of God

Romans 8:35

The sinful person I used to be died with Christ, and sin no longer rules my life

Romans 6:1-6

I am free from the condemnation my sins deserve

Romans 8:1

I have received God’s Spirit into my life. I can recognise the blessings he has given me

1 Corinthians 2:12

I have been given the mind of Christ. He gives His wisdom to make right choices

1Corinthians 2:16

I have been brought with a price; I am not my own; I belong to God

1 Corinthians 6:19, 20

I have been made acceptable to Christ

2 Corinthians 5:21

I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live is Christ’s life

Galatians 2:20

I have been bought out of slavery to sin and forgiven. I have received His generous grace

Ephesians 1:7, 8

I have been made spiritually alive just as Christ is alive

Ephesians 2:5

I have direct access to God through the Spirit

Ephesians 2:18

I may approach God with boldness, freedom and confidence

Ephesians 3:12

I have been rescued from the dark power of Satan’s rule and have been bought into the kingdom of Christ

Colossians 1:13

Christ Himself lives in me

Colossians 1:27

I am firmly rooted in Christ and am now being built up in Him

Colossians 2:7

I am spiritually clean. My old sinful self has been removed

Colossians 2:11

I have been given a spirit of power, love and self-control

2 Timothy 1:7

I have been saved and set apart (sanctified) according to God’s plan

2 Timothy 1:9, Titus 3:5

Because I am set apart (sanctified) and one with Christ He is not ashamed to call me His brother or sister

Hebrews 2:11

I am confident that the good work God has begun in me will be carried out until completion

Philippians 1:6

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

Philippians 4:13

I am a minister of reconciliation

2 Corinthians 5:17-20

I am God’s co-worker

2 Corinthians 6:11

Xtend

2006-10-06T17:47:00.000+13:00

This week I have been extended by a camp called Xtend. I really love camps and I felt like I was really streched and challenged at this camp. One of the things about this camp was springs. We had to build our faith on springs rather than bricks. Walls are broken and destroyed when one or two is shattered. Springs are streched, extended and challenged in order to grow and create bigger and better things. You take one spring from a trampoline and the trampoline still works fine. Each spring is seen as a truth that we as Christians know.

I'll write some truths at the end of this post.

Each night was so different for me and streched me in different ways.

What was so different about this camp was also that I made an effort to get to know almost everyone on camp and by the end I felt I had developed friendships I hope to extend further into my future.
I'm not the kind of person who goes out and does, I wait for people to come to me. And that is said in almost everything I do. I don't offer to do a job, I wait to be asked. I don't ask for phone numbers, I wait to be asked. I don't request hugs, I wait to be asked.
Even today, I heard a girl asking people if they had 70c or something that she could have, and I said I do, but I was far enough away that she couldn't hear me. It made me realise my thoughts, I wasn't going to tell her I could give it to her, if she wanted it badly enough she would keep asking until she asked me personally and i would be more than happy to give it to her.
I realised I think like that in everything.

Hugging came up a lot at camp, as it is a controversial christian issue. Is it OK to hug someone of the opposite sex front on? Because could it not give the wrong implications?
I personally struggle with hugging because one of my love languages is physical touch yet because of my approach to life I don't offer hugs, I only get them when others want them from me. I figure if someone wants me to hug them they will ask, I'm always gonna want a hug so ofcourse I will say yes, but if they don't want a hug then I don't want to have to hug them.

I thought at camp I should give people hugs just because I wanted them. I wanted to do something for myself and hugs are extremely important to me. I feel I never get enough.

So I went around asking people for hugs today, and I did it whilst asking if they wanted a sidehug or a fronthug, or no hug, so that if they did feel awkward about me hugging them front on...or at all, then there would be no awkward feelings in the hug.

It made me think that maybe I should come out of my "shell" in life and do things more for me. Not that living for other's feelings is a bad thing but I just think that if I neglect my own feelings too much then eventually my little "Love-pool" will dry up and I'll have no love to give to others.

So that was just one thing about camp at Xtend this year
I'll do truths on a new post.

Creative Writing - Treacherous Woman

2006-09-26T15:39:00.000+12:00

Treacherous Woman

I knew she’d come back. Somehow our hearts were entwined intrinsically that fate would have us bound to each other. Oh and how she loved me! That last encounter, just a day gone by, mercilessly involved most unpleasant interactions with her open palmed hand and my face. As delicate as her hands were, the rose had its thorns. But now, she’s back, walking towards me notably ignoring me watching her as she passes by. That man clinging to her arm is to her nothing more than the jewellery she covers herself in each morning. Spending hours in front of that mirror elegantly dressing up for the day. The days were always beautiful with her in them. Like he could ever show her affection like I. I loved her! But she loved me, which was why; it was why I saw her just now. All for me to see her pretty little face and want her back. Beg her back. But I wouldn’t! Even as I desired it so. This game was in my control and I would let her suffer in her misery for a time. Let that man dribble all over her until she feels dead inside.

How she left me was terribly horrid. Never could I let her just strut back into my life without a price to pay. I never did such a wrong to fairly balance the judgement scales now weighing so heavily upon my back. That was why I couldn’t yet take her back. Not until she learned. She had to know that I was in control. A rebalance of the omnipotent scales. I could never take her back until she learned, that was my unchanging decree. Not even I could change that.

I remember so well the day it first began. The plummet of our relationship I mean. Everything had been so spectacular that day, the sun had risen in the morning, the flowers had opened wide their fresh summer blossoms, and the soft singing of cheerful birds filled the fragranced warm morning air. My dreams had been sound and the tender touch of my pillow kept my loving heart in a state of comfortable delirium. Suddenly, and almost so frightfully it foreshadowed the day’s demise, the phone rang and a gloomy cloud perhaps treaded on the trail of the sun’s valiant rays and distorted the beacon of all things good from ever touching my humbled window’s interior. It was, as I recall, that very moment I answered the phone and my life shattered before my very ears. And I was powerless to the obscurities that now enveloped my poor, desolate life. As the phone fell from my hand, the eons, though in time only ephemeral, trickled slowly onward as it prepared its landing for the destination below. “THUMP!” I heard the noise oh too well again in my recall, for it was the very same as the beating of my broken heart. That was when the rain began to fall outside. The birds ceased their singing and found refuge in the shelter of thick trees. And how I envied them there. The flowers, covered by the scent of dreary drizzle lost their delighting odours, and I, yes I, lost my sense of hope and state of euphoria.

Those dreaded words she plagued on my life, that hideous, deathly poetry she spoke to burn my very ears. Oh how I scorned her! And how she loved me! For that was why she walked passed, with that wretched man’s shoulder resting her beautiful, sweet head. Just to show me that she could love, how she wanted me to desire for her. Oh how wrong she thought! Why should I care about her? What positive influence did she ever radiate upon my life? She only ever caused me the loss of my liberation. I was set upon the mountain top to be pushed to the valley below. And what a fall it was, though I dare say it was a fall, for it was all but accidental. That treacherous woman! How I scorned her. I was left as a carcass in my belittled valley. Ravens chortled as if entertained by jesters. I didn’t want her back, I would make her beg and beg and never let her feel the warmth of my clinch again. Yes! For surely it was by this means for her to pay the fated ransom. I would, dare I say, neglect her, reject her, and even loathe her.

She stopped! That villain! At the end of the street, and turned to face me. I perceived a tear in her eye. That tear, such enmity I felt for that tear. Did she intend me to pity her? I was in control of this game and she would never have me back. For that was my decree and not even I could change that. But her lips shivered before me, not more than the length of the street, the corner, a good 20 metres distance. But I saw her lips, those lustful lips and I hated her. They opened softly and whispered those life changing words, those hideous, revolting, dreadful, repulsive words. Those words that strangled my flesh and devoured gluttonously the very pounding of my heart. “I’m Sorry”

Rayd

Busy Weekend

2006-09-26T14:24:00.000+12:00

I haven't posted for a while because the internet connection in my house went down this week. It's back up again now, fortunetly. Sorry to people who sent me emails and didn't get replies. This week has been harder than the 40hour famine was regarding no electronics.

I've posted the devotionals for the days I actually did during my non-electronic week.

This weekend has been exteremly busy for me. Friday night I went to the family movie night, then headed to Stephen Jaegar's party for the night. Saturday morning, after a very limited sleep, I got up and went to the airport to see Mark off to Japan, then back to Steve's to have breakfast. After breakfast Steve and I went to Youthtrain to present our speeches/sermons. Then I headed to Inspire conference with Jessica Moore and Aliesha at Hornby Pressy. After doing the workshops I headed home and had a shower (for about 3/4 hour) and then drove back out to Hornby for the concert. I then headed home and slept a well overdue sleep, until Sunday morning where I got up for church (I admit I was a little late, but arrived in time for the sermon). Then the family went to Tuskers to celebrate Rach's birthday. After lunch, I went home to write something for the intellectual pathway for the youth service, and quickly finished that just before I left to got to work. Upon finishing work at 6:30 I headed straight to church and set up for the youthservice. After the youth service, half of us went to BK and the other half to Jason's new flat. Those of us at Jason's watched the top 40 One Hit Wonders whilst discoursing. It was quite interesting guessing which songs would appear in the list. I'm surprised to say that neither MC Hammer's Can't Touch This, or Fat Boy Slim's Kung Foo Fighter songs ever came up. Hmm actually, Kung Foo Fighter may have, I don't remember now.

On Monday I slept in and then set about washing my car (though the hose end for car washing was broken so I got as much water and soap on me as I did the car, and then vaccumming the inside of it and throwing away the big bits of rubbish (though one bit was a bit big and I vaccummed it, I didn't get much suction after that.) Then I raced off to AA (via a quick detour of driving practice, and warming up the car) to sit my driver's test. I arrived at about 10 minutes before the test. (Just in time, phew). Then on begining my test I failed to read the "pull" sign on the door of the AA building, lucky the instructor mentioned that wasn't part of the test. Then crossing the road, the instrucotr and I almost got run over by a car that shot around the corner without slowing down. Again, lucky crossing the road and checking both ways wasn't part of the test. But the test went really well and the instructor unleashed me onto the roads of christchurch.

So I spent the evening driving around town, and the port hills with Anna and Sasha. From Linwood to town, to Bishopdale (taking the side roads), to the airport, to town, to hoyts, to cashmere, into the hills, to sumner, to linwood. I dropped them back home just after 12, just because I could stay up without curfue. It was a fun night.

So that's my busy weekend. But I like having lots to do every now and again, it means you don't have time to be bored!

My Sick Day

2006-09-19T14:42:00.000+12:00

I only went to school for one period today as I've acquired a cold. (I went to English because I needed to work on my creative writing, plus I found half the class was missing anyway because it was my English teacher that gave everyone the cold)

So I had a big lunch, mince, pasta sauce, pasta. I enjoyed it anyway. Then I got to straightening my hair, I wondered what I would look like with straightened hair as people are always asking me if they can straighten it. A curiousity now brought to reality because I'm going to show everyone my "Straight hair" look!

But before I do, I'll tell you all about my laptop update. I'm picking it up in about an hour as the place I bought it from was loading it up for me. Basically, they are going to text my mobile when they've finished the setting up. Enough talk.. are you ready for my Straight Look?

Brace yourselves.... here I am

A Year Ago Today Yesterday

2006-09-18T18:24:00.000+12:00

Today I bought a laptop. Those of the more observant who read my blog may have noticed the link now on my sidebar that leads to the "Devotions of Radiance" which is my lectionary devotionals.
The wireless network is now set in my house (or so I'm told) and so the devotionals should begin the day after tomorrow (Wednesday). This is because I purchased the laptop today but pick it up tomorrow so that they can load it up properly.

This "In His Radiance" blog has now been running for a year and a day. The first post was the 17th of Spetember 2005. That's a year of committed readers reading 120posts and leaving 457 comments! So thank you for you all who have an interest in my life!

YouthGroup - Worship Pathways

2006-09-14T15:50:00.000+12:00

Youthgroup on Wednesday night (last night) was based on Worship pathways. Last Sunday's church service talked about the different pathways in which people connect with God and some people got up the front and shared how a pathway that they connected to God by actually connected them. And how they lived life according to that pathway. Hmm.. that probably wasn't a very good way of explaining that, If anyone can explain that better then you're welcome to comment.

Back to the point though; Wednesday night was more about just being put into an experience of finding God through each of the eight pathways. What I mean by that is that there was no explaining, like on Sunday, about how it worked for the person up the front but rather we were exposed to different situations and then decided for ourselves which, if any, made us feel closer to God. So for instance the Serving Pathway was the youthgroup cleaning the windows, vaccumming, etc because it would save someone else having to do it (Dave Smith. Also Dave I'm sorry but the vaccum cleaner strap broke while someone was using it, it's fixable but I couldn't seem to get it back on as I didn't have a plier or anything) Another Pathways was Contemplative where we heard a verse and music played softly while we thought about what it meant to us in the silence; And as we did, we could light a candle and float it on water as a prayer for someone.

Anyway, then after we finished (excuse my wording Jas), some guy got blindfolded and faithwalked by two lovely ladies all around and throughout the church grounds and then into a room full of the rest of us who surprised him with a Birthday tea-Party. That's right, a tea party. There was cups of tea as well as party food and hats and the whole birthday shabang. I'll tell ya what, it was the best tea party I've ever been to so I really want to congratulate and thank the people involved in setting it up. I'm sure the blindfolded guy really enjoyed it. Pity you didn't really have a camera with you though! Hehe.

So that was youthgroup yesterday night.

Dream or Voices?

2006-09-05T16:37:00.000+12:00

I've been having this dream lately. I don't know if it means anything but the dream goes somewhat like this.

I'm just dreaming as normal, or however one would normally dream, how I normally dream anyway. Suddenly my 'light' (as oppose to deep) dreaming is interrupted. The interruption is a familiar voice. A friend. And I recognise the voice, it says, "Andrew!" I forget my old 'normal' dream and focus on the voice. "Andrew!" I hear it again. The familiar voice wants my attention, but I'm giving it, what do they want? "Andrew!" It's not frustrationg but in a way it is. And then another familiar voice calls out imperatively over the first, "Andrew!" And several more familiar voices join in. Soon all I hear are these voices yelling for my attention over each other. I'm not asleep, I'm awake but half dreaming and these voices are yelling in my head. I want to know what they want me to look at, look for, what their purpose is but I can't just find out from listening.

Sometimes my sleep is disrupted by just one voice. One familiar voice calling out my name, "Andrew!" My brother, or a friend, someone I know enough to listen to, someone I know wants to give me advice. And yet I fail to see what they want to show me. Do they want to show me anything or am I delusional? Are the voices in my head making me crazy? Am I already crazy?

I wonder if anyone knows if this means anything (other than my need to be sent to a psychiatric ward) I don't dream about it in the day, only during the night, usually when I'm just about to fall asleep.

September 06

2006-09-02T16:14:00.000+12:00

The month of September. There is a lot happening this month. For a start Monday is the beginnning of the mock exams for me. 2 exams on Monday, 2 on Tuesday and one on Thursday. I'm going to be writing a lot of essays in the next few days and I really hope my hand heals (injured yesterday at Koru) so I can get through all the writing. Fortunetly it's only mock exams and so it only counts if, at the end of the year I'm either sick or dead.

There is a camp the following week for YouthAlpha which is going to be really fun. I think it's called something like "The Holy Spirit Weekend" Sounds awesome anyway. YouthTrain finished today so now it's just homework to do and the speech/sermon to perform in three weeks time. Originally it was to be next Saturday but because of exams and various other people not being able to do it, the date has been postponed to the 23rd. My sister's birthday is on the 24th and Father's day is tomorrow (I think). There are more camps coming up in October but I'm probably going to talk more about them nearer the time.

I'm filling in my school Record of Achievement (ROA) at the moment. It's kind of annoying though because I'm only allowed to write things that I've done through the school and that disadvantages me heaps. eg, many of my friends did first aid with the school but I did my first aid course through work and so my friends can write that in but I can't (even though the course I did gave me NCEA credits) It's quite interesting trying to remember everything I've achieved whilst attending Cashmere High School over the last 5 years. It's a pity I can't seem to think about a lot of what I've done. I kinda wish I filed away all my certificates and things so I could write them down because I remember faintly that I have got awards and things but I just can't remember what they were or waht they were for, and if I did it wouldn't matter anyway because we need to show proof which I obviously don't have. I know I got some Australian Mathematics awards back in my earlier days. Oh well.

The rugby is on tonight and I'll be going with OBY. Some of my friends from school will be there too so I might have to go say hi to them for a while. One of them wants to flat with me when I go down to Otago next year, but I think I would prefer to board for the first year atleast (just to get solidly grounded in a church environment. But in saying that, I'm not replacing Opawa, it's irreplacable!)

I've not really got a lot more to say, not that I can think of anyway. Other than just a really warm thanks to particular people that have given time to listen. Thank you.

Quote by request

2006-08-28T16:05:00.000+12:00

"The walk of the Christian is not an easy one but every valley has its mountains and every desert its end."

Cashmere High School Formal 2006

2006-08-28T15:54:00.000+12:00

For those of you who haven't seen this photo yet, I won't deprive you (unless Lydia asks me to take it off here)

It was a night I will remember for ever.

Pre-Formal

2006-08-22T15:48:00.000+12:00

Last Sunday I went to the Stewart's house for lunch (and some more dance practice). It was heaps of fun and the adrenaline is flowing through me with such anticipation of my formal night. Why's my formal important to me? The formal is important because this is my last year of High School, after this year I am moving out into the world, I'm leaving the people I love (by not seeing them on such a regular basis) and moving down south to Otago University. (I applied yesterday). That of course doesn't mean I won't be coming back home every chance I get. But this formal marks the end of my schooling and the beginning of the big wide world. I want to work in the world doing something I love and at the same time being able to support a family I one day hope to have. The formal marks the beginning of this new life I'm headed into. It's important to me because this is where I get to see my school friends in all their glammer, out of school, elegant, a different side to them, and not nessesarily a façade of themselves but more so a different angle of their lives. Most of these school acquaintances and friends are people I either won't see ever again or won't see for a long time and I want to have a night that I will remember for the rest of my life, a distinct marker that not only remembers those people who influenced my schooling life and therefore impacted my wider life also, but also to remember the best time I had with them most distinctly. This is most likely the last school formal I will ever go to and therefore it is even more memorable and important to me than if it were otherwise. I bought a suit a week or so ago and I completed it yesterday when I bought my shoes (the last item I needed to conclude the whole suit) It won't be the last time I put the suit on and everytime I do will be memorable for this formal and for any other time I feel the need to dress up for a special occassion. I believe that everything that happens at the Formal is a part of God's will for my life and all the circumstances that have lead up to it have been influenced by His firm, omnipotent hand. There is not much I can do now but be excited and spend time with God asking for His divine influence on Saturday so that I, and those I go with, will walk down the path God has set for us with a loving heart and a synonymous (to God's) mind. I've realised that the more time I spend with God in my day, the more time He spends with me. And I can see it by reflecting on my own life. So thanks God! I really appreciate the time you've put into my life to make marvellous, wonderful, unbelievable, miraculous circumstances unfold in my life!

Youthgroup - Mission Possible

2006-08-10T15:34:00.000+12:00

Yesterday night for youthgroup we split up into 3 groups. My group's purpose was to head up to the highest point above Christchurch and take some camera shots of landmarks (schools/stadiums/pier/church/parks/etc) Then we were to gather around in prayer and pray for four things: For schools we could see, for churches we could see, for those who did not know God, and for those who were in spiritual battles. Why? Because Moses found a high point above the battleground and raised his hands in faith. As his hands were raised the Israelites were favoured in battle and when his hands dropped his enemies would begin to gain advantage. eventually his arms became sore and he could no longer lift them, so Aaron and Joshua (I think) stood on either side of him and supported his raised arms. We stood on the hill, and prayed over the city. Although my team didn't really like it that we went to the chair (a place on the hill) over the sign of the bellbird (another place) I really enjoyed it because I always find the chair as a very spiritual place. After our prayer we got back into the van and headed back to Aaron and Summer's place for supper. Lydia felt uncomfortable most of the journey back...for some reason unbeknown and completely unrelated to myself and various other people in the van ;). Then with pictures we had taken from the hilltop aswell as other groups photos we watched some slideshows and each group talked about their task and how they set about to achieve that. I really enjoyed the evening.

On the music side of things, I've got right back into Bon Jovi and so my music reccomendations for this month are as follows:

Dance With You - Live
In These Arms - Bon Jovi
I'll Be There For You - Bon Jovi
Stronger - Delirious?

These are all songs that I can listen to over and over and never get bored of. They're songs that really trigger emotions, even if you never show them and I like that.

week

2006-08-06T14:55:00.000+12:00

I went to the midwinter Christmas dinner on Friday. There wasn't so much of me on the camera this year but I definitely got a video in of me stuffing my face with icecream. Lots of good food, humour, helium balloons, company, etc. I haven't completely filled myself up for a while but by 10pm I was completely stuffed. A few of us went to Amy's new flat in Merivale and watched Hitch - I was taking mental notes of how to dance at my formal (pelvic thrust, shopping for pizza, making the pizza, the lawnmower, the lighthouse, and other great dance moves). At about 1:30 Steve J dropped the other people in his car home and he, Mark and I went to church and had a snow fight with the snow they had for the entrance to the Christmas Dinner. We ofcourse played around in it until Steve got hurt. Mark seemed to be the only one not hurting by the end of it but I think it was fair to say that Stephen got the most injured. So Steve drove home and we went to bed so we could get up early the next morning for Youthtrain. I was up early enough to drive around to Steve's place to take him to youthtrain (he asked for a ride the night before) but after spending 15mins knocking on his door, ringing his mobile phone (which was, unbeknown to me, in his car) and ringing his doorbell I eventually gave up and headed there by myself. He drove himself there a few minutes later. I think a lot of us were very tired that morning, from either going to Amy's or studying for tests.

After youthtrain Mark and I went to Steve's house and ate another massive meal, so to burn it off we headed into the port hills and climbed some rocks. Then we got home just before 6pm to have dinner with Rach's boyfriend's Father and two of his sisters.

The service this morning was very different to usual. We went over the Elizabeth/Mary meeting verses in Luke and then we talked about what stuck out to us in what we listened to or what question we would ask, after hearing the verses, to a theologian. After discussing our answers with a "distant relation" or two we listened to people stand up around the church and share what their "distant relation" discussed with them. As Steve Taylor pointed out, this was not just one sermon, not just the Holy Spirit talking to one person, but rather the Holy Spirit among us as a congregation and several, many, people preaching as they taught the congregation what they had learned from their discussion with their "distant relation".

I asked Bob Jaegar last Sunday if he would consider being my Mentor. I have a lot of respect for him and because of various things I believe he is the person that God wants to mentor me. I'm really happy that today Bob confirmed he would be my mentor and I am meeting with him tomorrow evening. My Growth Coaching with Jason is almost over now and my last task in it was to find a mentor.

My week this week will be quite busy, tomorrow i'll have my mentor meeting, then Tuesday I'll have to get started on my homework, Wednesday is reserved for youthgroup, Thursday set aside for YouthAlpha, and Friday has been claimed by my growthcoaching meeting which will later be followed by a party with my friends from school (many people will not be drinking as several christians will be attending). Saturday will be engulfed by Iceskating with the Youthgroup's Saturday Events.

So that's my week all lined up for inspection. On wednesday my head of school (dean) should be giving out the forms to fill out if we need to invite people from other schools to the formal (I've been nagging him about it)

Time for me to go to work now.

Learning To Dance

2006-08-02T15:12:00.000+12:00

I went to my friend's house yesterday afternoon adn she taught me how to dance. I wasn't there very long and she taught me how to dance in a small square. After coming home and practising enough to do it without stuffing up or looking down at my feet I learned how to do the foxtrot (atleast that's what I think I learnt). Now all I need to learn is how to add in all the spinny things and good looking tricks. I've also gotta hope that there will be lots of people ballroom dancing at my formal. I'm buying a suit Saturday week.

Youthtrain is starting up again this Saturday. It's gonna be good.

Anyway, I've got to be getting to work. Just thought I should update well I had a little bit of freetime.

Road Trip

2006-07-30T15:38:00.000+12:00

Imagine this, You are driving down the road in your car. The road stretches over farmland, cities, villages, towns, rivers, plains, everywhere. This road is not one straight line but breaks and splits in countless places along the way. At the end of this road lies the place you want to go. You know you want to go there and your whole purpose of getting in your car and driving was so you could fulfill this desire to be at this place. However, there are some problems with getting to this location. Firstly, you don't know how long this roadtrip will take. Secondly, you don't know which turns you must take to get there, only that the road you desire to take leads there. Thirdly, because of the recent price increase in petrol you may not have enough money to keep driving to the end of the road. Last and certainly not least, you don't want to go on this journey alone. You need a companion. Here is how I see my life's journey. I need someone to pay the petrol bill, Jesus paid it with His blood. I need someone to navigate for me, Jesus told me how to get there, He gave me my reconciliation with my all-knowing Father. I need someone to go with, Jesus sent me the Holy Spirit. So with what I've been given, though I still don't know how long the journey is I know when to turn and when to keep going straight. I don't need to look so far into the future because every now and again the Spirit gives me glimpses of it when He talks to me, and I've got a full tank of petrol to get me there just in time for the party to begin. After all, the place I'm going is waiting for me to get there.

School - A New Day Dawns

2006-07-27T16:12:00.000+12:00

Another day at school. Today is different. I don't know why, maybe it was because the Cashmere Christian Club (CCC) had its second meeting today at lunchtime, maybe it was due to me getting up at 6:54am and spending 40mins in prayer, maybe it can be accredited to there being no milk in my house and therefore the toast I ate for breakfast (as oppose to cereal), or maybe my anticipation of YouthAlpha (and no cooking tea tonight) got the better of me, but something was different, about me or about the day. I had people asking me if I was on drugs, my more extroverted side came out in school. I had a bit to say at CCC and I wouldn't shutup during classtime. This is not abnormal for me to talk a lot but at school I am a lot more reserved than I would care to be at youthgroup. Just because I am not so close to those friends at school as those in the Youthgroup, and because I am not so interested in sharing my ideals with them. There was a permanent smile on my face today, now i'm asking, "did someone pray for me today?" because I feel so very different and I don't know just what to accredit it to. I don't usually spend time in prayer in the morning, merely because I do not get up early enough to. I do intend to get up early every morning and spend time with God, it just rarely happens and so I end up doing my devotionals after school. People may have heard me say that I feel so much better the days I do spend time with God in prayer, and it's true, everyday I make an effort seems to be an awesome day.

I spoke to one of my friends yesterday and they told me they were listening to videos on gaining confidence. I really liked hearing how they were putting an effort into strengthening one of their weaknesses.

It was Interesting to see some other faces at CCC today than the people last week, although I was still the only Opawian. My chemistry teacher of last year was there and he sat and discussed stuff with the small group I was in. It was really weird hearing him talk about God as oppose to science, and I really enjoyed hearing his opinion on things. Part of the discussion turned to saying about how we can tell if people are Christians by watching them. I remember someone once saying to me that if you ever have to tell someone you're a Christian then you probably aren't one. Why? Because people should know from your actions. This teacher said his wife used to work in a hospital and she would generally be able to tell who the Christians were because they stuck out, there was something different about them compared to other people. My great Uncle was an abulance driver for donkey's years in Nottinghamshire, England and he would almost always be able to tell if the person who died was a Christian or not just by the look on their face. The Christians tended to have quite a serene look and others looked rather ghastly. He reconded it was because just that instant before you died you would know exactly where you were going to. The actual whole discussion was about "Who Is God?" and it was led by my mate Jordan Rimell (couple of years younger than me) who attends Cashmere New Life, and another guy (didn't catch his name). It was really good to see him take the leadership role and lead a discussion along with his friend. In that Letter to Diagnetus I posted a while back the writer talked about how Christians were to the world like the soul is to the body; in the body but not of the body; in the world but not of the world. I believe that CCC is the soul of Cashmere High School and that we will be the glue that holds it together, that makes it an awesome place to be. Because that is our responsibility as Christians. To disciple by our actions, to evangelise by what we do. Atleast that's what I think.

Youth Alpha is on tonight, and because I really enjoyed it last week I am really looking forward to it again tonight. To be honest, I'm also looking forward to eating...

I read the Word for Today about half an hour ago and I really felt like I should make a small A4 size poster of the 12 essentials to putting God's Kingdom first. So I did, and now I'm going to put it on my wall to remind myself 12 things I need to be doing 24/7/52.
I've also got a big whiteboard at the back of my room which has a week and day planner on it that I change everyday to keep me more organised. It will be there until I buy my laptop in September (also when I create a new blog for my devotionals). At the bottom of the whiteboard I have written 5 verses to remember. Some of my favourite verses in the Bible. they are:

Matthew 5:14-16
Matthew 12:34
Psalms 34:5
Colossians 3:14
Song of Songs 4:1

Four of those Five verses are pinned as posters to my wall somewhere or arather in my room. The Fifth, being Song of Songs 4:1 is not because I like the whole chapter and i'm not posting a whole chapter on my wall. I like that chapter because it is written like a love poem and chapter 4 is where the man tells the beautiful woman why he loves her. I like the NIV translation because it uses the word beautiful as oppose to fair. And beautiful is such an emotive word, atleast I think so. Two of the other verses are about being Light and Radiance. You will find the Matthew 5:14 verse at the top of this page. The last two are about feelings and Love. And although Songs is about love too these verses are shorter and one serves as a warning to be cautious, the second explains the importance of Love. I'll leave anyone who reads this blog to look up the verses for themselves if they desire to. Otherwise, I think I've started talking too much again.

Destination Destiny

2006-07-21T14:33:00.000+12:00

Destiny is not about where you end up,
It's about the whole journey

I keep getting this sentence appearing in my mind these last few days. Thinking about this I remembered some lines in a poem I once wrote:

Teachers taught an amnesic learning
...forgotten the arts of true discerning

What we are taught is totally irrelevant to life, we're taught how important it is to have a wellpaid occupation, how important it is to make money, but we really need to be taught about what is right and what is wrong, because so many people no longer know that. Everytime we make that decision of right versus wrong we take a step, either forwards or backwards, on our destiny walk toward our destination. God's watching us now, we're making our lives now. If we think too much about something then it rules us, it's the same with what we do in life, if we're not living life right now, doing what we should be then how are we going to do that at the end?

My busy week

2006-07-20T16:44:00.000+12:00

I thought I should update, why? Because I haven't updated in a while now, also i'm suppossed to be doing homework and this is my way of procrastinating.

I should be doing homework because I was busy Tuesday night, Work and Youth Group were on Wednesday night, Youth Alpha is on at 6:30 tonight, Koru is on Friday evening, I'm going Iceskating on Saturday and I have church and Work on Sunday. So practically Friday before Koru and now are the only times I have to do a weeks worth of homework.

My English seminar/speech is next week and because I was busy in the holidays when I was supposed to be writing it, I haven't written it. I don't dislike speeches but I don't have the time to write it, practise it and deliver it in a few days as well as do homework for my other subjects. And I consider Chemistry as my priority subject so the test tomorrow needs to take number one priority time. Plus if I don't do the seminar then I rely on my creative writing to get me through, and I love creative writing so i've got no problems there. I've been reading a little shakespeare lately because I'm studying the Merchant Of Venice for English and I opened up my sister's book A Midsummer Night's Dream to a random page and I really liked the two lines I read.

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is wing’d Cupid painted blind (I:I:234-235)

I don't know what MSND is about but that little bit stuck right out and I liked it.

A christian group has started up at school, It's called the Cashmere Christian Club (CCC) I went today for its opening and overview and it sounds really good. I never realised how many of my friend's siblings were christians. It's inspiring. This was all after youthgroup last night where the group I was in talked about what we do as christians in the community, and when it came to school I had no answer. Now I will have one. The name CCC reminds me of the CCC (Christian City Church) that sells CDs you can buy at the Christian Superstore. I went there today to see if they sold Evermore cos I really wanted to buy their cd but the guy didn't know who Evermore were :'(

Anyway, that's about 2cents worth don't you think, I gotta keep the Blogging fire burning cos we're all starting to slacken off.

Goliaths

2006-07-14T13:48:00.000+12:00

One thing that really stuck out to me at Xtend was when Mike Dodge was talking about Giant slayers. That for David to tackle Goliath he first had to practice against lions and bears. Lions and bears aren't easy to attack and he could well have died fighting them but it prepared him for fighting Goliath. And I wrote down my Bear on a stone and placed it in the pile of stones that wouls serve as reminders of us conquering our smaller problems that prepared us for bigger things in life. After that I imagined myself throwing my stone, from a sling, at this giant and as it was about to hit, with God's guidance of course, another giant with a big shield stood infront and deflected it off. So i wrote another stone and placed that too on the pile. Then imagined that I slung another stone and God directed it to the giant infront. Once he was dead my first stone continued and hit its target. It's not two birds with one stone but it's two Goliaths with two stones. Not bad aye? Later we prayed in small groups and I asked my small group to pray for my first Goliath, as they did i felt this incredible feeling of being lighter than the air around me. It lasted until I opened my eyes. Funny enough what they prayed for actually happened the next day and I was so surprised that now my whole mind is in utter confusion.

Xtend

2006-07-13T18:01:00.000+12:00

I went to Xtend Retreat at Living Springs and i just learned so much. It's so weird how just a weekend away can bring me so much closer to God and to others. I don't often feel the Holy Spirit but it seems that both times i've gone to Xtend i have and I just love it. I've learned so much about my self, my realtionship with God and others, how I relate to others, how they relate to me, how i'm affected by them and so on. Xtend was not just about learning for me, it was about developing better relationships and I really believe I achieved that. I know that everything I do in life is something towards my Destiny and I really just want to thank God for talking to me at the retreat, preparing me for things to come and even helping solve things in my life now. I know I needed it, and so Does He.

Walking home and another question

2006-06-29T15:31:00.000+12:00

As i was walking up the hill today after school i walked passed a little girl, possibly 5 or 6 years old. And as i walked passed the girl with one hand rubbing her eye, her other eye gleaming at me, she smiled and with her spare hand she gave me a thumbs up.

I've no idea why, but isn't it just an awesome feeling?

For my next question;

If faith is trusting, relying and believing something will happen without knowing the facts, then how can Our Omniscient God be a faithful God?

Blogging pattern

2006-06-27T17:07:00.000+12:00

I've noticed that my blogging comes in patterns. The frequency of my blogging monthly goes like so:
Starting September 05, ending this month: 12 posts, 9 posts, 5 posts, 8 posts, 11 posts, 17 posts, 12 posts, 11 posts, 9 posts, 6(+) posts.

The graph looks somewhat like this. It's funny all the places you see this similar kind of graph. energy of people v time, alternating currents, even our heart beat is similar. What is says to me is that we need both good and bad in life, both the things we like and the tings we don't. We can't get too high becasue we'll explode and if we get too low we'll hit the ground.

Holidays

2006-06-27T16:46:00.000+12:00

An interesting discussion on the last post if people want other people's opinions on Blessing.

I'm now 2/3 of the way through my Japanese exam. Finished my Chemistry today and have Biology on thursday. I think i'll save asking another discussion question for the holidays or i'll have an excuse to not do my study.

Holidays are gonna be so awesome! Koru dance on friday night; Hanmer friday, saturday, sunday; As soon as i get back i can go for my full driver's license. I wanna go sometime these holidays. Then the second week i'll be going to Extend for camp. Two camps in two weeks!! I love camps! Did i mention that the whole two weeks will be free of school work?! (-other than preparing for my Desmond Tutu Speech).

Well that about sums up this post.

Question

2006-06-19T19:33:00.000+12:00

Can you Bless yourself?
And if you can Bless yourself then is it the equivalent of someone else Blessing you?

Church Today

2006-06-18T23:40:00.000+12:00

The service in the morning involved the Girls and Boys brigades. Steve talked about the end times. No-one knows when it will come. And he used parables as Jesus did. Everyone got given a medal/talent, some big, some small and Steve explained that the rich man who gave different amounts of money to the three different men and how he was contented with the returns he got with each of them (with the exception of the man who buried his because he feared the anger of the rich man if he lost/wasted it) But the man said the same thing to both men who returned with gain. He told both men that he would put them in charge of larger amounts of money because they had proven faithful with what they were given. No matter who got what size talent, if we use them right (FOR GOD) then God is well pleased with us and invests us into bigger and better things.

Go carting with the boys. Randall, Mark, Michael K and myself went go carting. I got an offical warnign that if i banged another car i was outta there. There went my overtaking tactics and so i got stuck behind michael for about 15 laps until someone else caught us up and overtook him. I followed their lead and finally got passed him. No-one counted their laps or overtakes but i'm sure Randall won. He was the only one i didn't overtake of all the people on the course. (I did get over taken several times after my official warning though so i can't say i came second) The main point was, it was stacks of fun.

Lynne talked in the evening about Healing. She too used parables. Or examples. We discussed in groups things that were inflicted on us and how we overcame or were healed of those afflictions.

Daily Devotional

2006-06-18T23:02:00.000+12:00

I am thinking of starting up a blog that will be linked off this one that i will use to write my thought on my daily devotionals. It will help me reflect, remember and put into practice the things i learn. Hopefully it will get me into a habbit of doing devotionals more and act as my accountability. However this is assignment season and so if i do decide to start this blog i will only be posting about once a week. (don't think i won't be doing my devotionals the other six days, i just won't have the time to do the reflection too.) I do hope to get into the habbit though. I would be welcoming any contrary thoughts to my own reflections also.

Any thoughts on me putting this plan into action?

News Headline

2006-06-15T21:28:00.000+12:00

"Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God"
A story about a man who climbed down a rope into a lion enclosure at a zoo and exclaimed "God will save me, if He exists." One of the lioness' instantly approached and killed him.

This story has sparked a big forum about how it is proof that God doesn't exist.

My view could not be added to the forum because i am not a member and i don't want to sign up to something i would never visit. So i'll put my view here and i'm open to listening to other people's views.

Firstly i believe it is important to know whether this man had genuine faith or was just trying to find for himself an answer. Secondly, does the Bible not say,
"do not test the Lord your God!"? (matthew 4:7)

Now if it says that then how can we have faith? Well the Bible also says,
"And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well." (Mark 16:17-18)

So what does that mean? Well to me it says this guy didn't read his Bible properly. To me i believe this means that so long as we do not test the Lord our God we shall be safe from harm. So in relation to this guy the way i see it is if this man was thrown into the enclosure like Belteshazzar he would have survived because it was not his will that caused him to drink the poison. But he instead chose to go into the enclosure and test God. Because of his testing he was shown nothing. The Bible says that,
"Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29)

the headline was found at the web address >here<

A Look On Life

2006-06-07T21:41:00.000+12:00

Ok, so i haven't updated in 8 days. You may well be asking, "is he dead?"
But stop your worrying please! I am not yet dead. I have much to talk about.

It all started back in 1993 when i was a stripping young five year old.....ok not that much to talk about...

Last friday was a night for the whole family, the church family and the community family, to come together and battle each other in groups of 6 for the supreme right to be named the winner of the 2006 quiz evening. My team did not win. I KNOW! shocking! err... you can close your mouth now. Thankyou. I'll tell you what though, there were some pretty tough questions in there. And i really think my team needs to work on their musical knowledge. There's no I in team. I don't need to work on it, i knew all the answers, i was just giving all the other teams a fair chance...well if you're reading this in the early hours of the morning i'll tell you know, i'm just kidding. Right, lets do away with the quiz night, other than the mention of thanks to Jas and Amy who did a brilliant job of putting it together, and the mention that if you know absolutely everything about music then i am happy, estactic in fact, to sign you up for my next year's team.

So, Friday faded as the sun hid behind the horizon. We watched a movie as the day gave way to night. Fighting Temptations. I liked the movie, it was quite relevant to the verses i've been reading in the Bible lately.

But the night had to once again give way to morning, for that was how God intended it to be. And night knows not how to disobey. So Saturday came. And Saturday was a day of preparation for the day of pentecost. We learned, we listened and we discussed. The Spirit of God was with us on Saturday just as the Lord promised us it would be all those years ago. And i learned, i learned that storytelling is an art. I learned techniques of storytelling and it helped me. I write poetry, and being able to write is important to me, it allows me to express things i know i cannot express in any other way. It allows me to, even though i do not share my poems, document my history, my thoughts, my feelings. My poems help me to speak to God. And in the evening the lights dimmed and Peter and Joyce broke ice with fire, the fire that together we cast upon the ice altar. And we drank and ate in communion with reverence and silence to the King of Kings as the spirit came upon that place. It was worship and i worshipped Him. How could i not? He left His life that i might have mine, i was not my own. I was in deep gratitude for the things He had done, for the people He had placed in my life, for the Love i had been showed and was yet to be showed. How could i not? But the night had to end, and i had to go home.

Sunday morning i was txting in the early hours. Talking to someone who truly felt human. I knew that feeling and though my words may not have done comfort i am sure my prayers were healing hands. Sunday morning was delayed that morning, not because the birds did not sing at their time, but because my ears did not want to listen. And because of that, i was late for church. Luckily there was a confession box at the back of the church...just kidding. Sunday afternoon meant work and fortunetly Sunday's work was easy and my finish was not so delayed as my getting up. The evening service was run by Simon the story-teller. Or was it? I'm forgetting because i didn't write a blog on Sunday!! Too long ago!!

But Monday came, and i thanked God, for the first time in my life, for the Queen. Why? because i got to sleep in. My weeked was busy and i needed the sleep i had been deprived of. So Thankyou Betty. And thank God for you and your public holiday that we might not forget you.

Looking back on my weekend i think i probably should have fitted some homework in there sometime.

Tonight was youthgroup and we acted out plays of Jesus' healing. Jesus healing the demon-possessed boy with the believing father and Jesus healing the man on the strecher who was lowered through the roof.

Other things on my mind lately have been my assignments that i haven't yet finished and my upcoming formal of which i have still to get a date for. Other than that my life is great and dandy*(not sure what that means but it sounds like it fits in here)

That is my look on life
until next time,
Janei

Assignments

2006-05-30T16:24:00.000+12:00

I was reading Amy's post and it made me realise that Warwick was right on his comment; It is assignment season. I don't think i had an assignment season last year but i sure do this year. With My Classics assignment handed in a few weeks ago, which i passed, but it had four parts (Christianity, Judaism, Philosophy and Mystery Cults) and i didn't realise that all four parts needed Primary sources (documents from the time that the documents talk about), i only used primary sources on three parts (thinking i only needed one primary source for the whole thing) and so my mark was only achieved. (I think that it also had a bit to do with my procrastination and rushed effort on the last day)
My Japanese speech, which i failed as i went down to Dunedin.
My English assignment, which i was beginning to stress about as the internet is amost void of Desmond Tutu's speeches more than two pages long, but fortunetly i found an audio file and spent four hours yesterday writing a transcript for it. I ordered a book from massey university in Palmerston North because even though Tutu wrote 4 books, two of which are compilations of his speeches and sermons, the libraries in christchurch 'no longer' have the books that i need to get the speeches from. I was told that it was written in 1970s or thereabouts and therefore it was quite old and that was why it wasn't in the library anymore. They have shakespeare don't they? That assignment is due in a few weeks though so now i've got a speech i'm beginning to catch up with the rest of the class.
My Biology assignment, which is due in a few weeks. Fortunelty i have done the research i need to and now only need to work out what i need to write about, what i should leave out, and how to structure what i'm writing. My assignment is the biological control of rabbits in the south island. One of my friends, who decided on the same assignment, happened to come across the Otago universtity website which tells the students how to structure their essay 'if they were doing biological control of rabbits' hypothetically of course. Thank you Otago!! Thank you friend, who infact deserves much more praise as she actually spent hours on the computer looking for help on writing the essay (not illegally).

So yes, I do feel the strain of Assignment Season's pull and yes, i do hear the crack of her whip, but there is only one way to go and that way is forward, and as i do, i shall move the seasons and become once more the free spirit i was born to be. Free of a load, free of bindings, free of fear, free.

Music update, Koru update (from last week)

2006-05-26T15:45:00.000+12:00

I haven't done a music update for a while now. It'll just be a short, quite diverse list this week.

I Caught Fire by The Used would be classed in the punk-rock genre, i'm much more of a rock fan but i've always enjoyed listening to the top punk-rock bands. The song is about the singer losing his place, and his reality in her eyes.

Amazed by Lonestar
Mr Mum by Lonestar
Somebody's Someone by Lonestar
are all classed in the country genre. i've never been a big supporter of Country, but Lonestar really bring about new meaning to country. Their song "Amazed" which i'm sure many of you have heard already, just puts so much emotion in their song that it almost brings a tear to your eye. I really like Lonestar. The lyrics in their songs show so much about the song writer's personality. You can tell he is someone who cares, has morals, and still yet is human and doesn't refrain from making mistakes. He seems to be someone who is very open in his songs and i really admire that. Atleast that is the impression i get from listening to Lonestar songs.

The last song is Magic Works by Jason Buckle which is a song about dancing a final dance with the one you love. It may be the last chance you ever get. I know that theme recurs in many songs, but the songs that the same theme is found in are usually good songs too. This was my favourite song for quite a while, but then i got hooked on the song Amazed.

To change the subject entirely; I realised that i haven't written a post on Koru last week. If you went to Digestion then Steve J would have updated you on it but if not then i'll give you my opinion on it.

For a start we doubled our numbers from two weeks previous. The increase was mainly community kids and therefore we are successfully beginning to achieve our purpose. There were no teeth broken so we can positively conclude that the evening was a success. Oh and also the kids seemed to enjoy themselves. Two tribes were created that will be the immortal names of the tribes so long as Koru exists. (which we hope to be 'till kingdom come, or God instructs us to move on) The names were Trinity and O Town. Trinity standing for the Trinity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit, aswell as the trinity between God, ourselves and our friends. Because Koru (or New Life) is not jsut about us, and having a good time but rather Us, our realationship with God and also the positive influences and evangelistic influences we have on our friends. O Town stands for Opawa Town. Opawa being a place of refuge. Perhaps a subsitute for Bro town which is increasing popular amongst the targeted youth. O Town is a place where people can meet in the close fellowship, more even than that of Bro Town, of the community that will become their second family. The O is everlasting and so too is the circle of friends that will go through struggles and joys together. A Town is not overcrowded like a metropolis or a city, and it is not so dead as a village. It stands as a place comfortable and secure for all those who seek refuge in it.

So tonight the family movie night is on at Opawa Baptist Church. A place to meet for fellowship, a place for the community to come, a place for us to come to God and for us to bring our friends. It is where we are together and as 1 but eternal like the O.

It would be good to see you all there at 7pm in the church auditorium ( i think that's where it is).

2006-05-22T20:49:00.000+12:00

I really liked the service on sunday night (yesterday). Not because Steve wasn't preaching as i do like his preachings but more because of variance of opinion as someone who has done different things and had different experiences to Steve, also because i am the kind of person who likes lots of verses from the bible incorporated into the sermon (again, not that Steve doesn't do that, but both he and I realise that Bible reading is not the only way worship God). I guess the reason i liked it so much was because Digestion (night service) is a different service from the morning one and so it is more aimed at being interactive rather than sitting and listening to the gospel. I see nothing wrong with that but i do believe you need to have solid food too, and because digestion is different to the morning it attracts different people, and though some of those people go to the morning service there are many that do not, and hopefully soon they will but at this time they don't get much bread.

What really stuck out for me in the sermon of Fuzz (Out of Town Speaker) was when he talked about the Australian Abos who got on stage in a prestigious school and talked openly about Jesus. This was easier for them because they had nothing to lose. It made me think about the things that i hang on to that draw me away from being so open. What do i hang on to? For a start i hang on to a career, i don't want to go all for God because i'm scared it will jeperdise my career path by not putting enough time into studying. I'm afraid of getting on the wrong side of people. Most people aren't christians and so i don't want to lose friends by becoming a bible-basher. There is also the fear that i will not have life go the way i want it to happen. If i spend time doing God's work then the work towards what i want to achieve will never get done. I have three main fears in my life: I am scared of rejection. I am scared of living a dead life (both spiritually and physically, like being stuck on machines in a coma or living a life with no purpose). And lastly, Being alone. Spending time on God rather than on myself means that i have less control of my own life and therefore am less likely to avoid these three fears. Being rejected from friends becuase i become known as a "bible-basher" targets my fear of rejection, and as a result of that rejection i am left alone in isolation and therefore suffer from two of my fears. As we sang the songs after the sermon i just let myself go and felt the Spirit moving in the church. I sang "oh i feel like dancing, it's foolishness i know, but when the world has seen the light they will dance with joy like i'm dancing now!"
The spirit moving in the church? This brings me to the next point about Fuzz's sermon, the main point actually. How do i know what i know? That's something i cannot describe to anyone who has not felt the spirit. It was the spirit because i knew it was Him.

The third most liked point about Fuzz's sermon was when he showed the "I Will Survive Alien Song" and then said that the world doesn't crash down on people, it's the mirror ball that crashes down on us and what we see in that mirror is what has potential to crush us. (hmm... he explained this so much better than I do).

To be honest, fellowship at burger king afterwards was really good too. God really did something inside me Yesterday. I think we should reflect more on the sermons during fellowship, that way we remember them more.

As for my speech for English, I had decided to do Charles Spurgeon and did a bit of research on him, but then twice i heard Archbishop Desmond Tutu's name prop up randomly in the sermon and on a music video of U2 in channelX. He was one of the people i was contemplating doing, so i think maybe i should do him. Just incase it was God telling me i needed to do research on him. You never know what you can learn at school. :D I might find something that intergrates into my mind and is essential for me to know in years to come. So i've changed to Tutu. I'm heading down to the library tomorrow to get out some of his books of speeches and sermons.

Blood Donor

2006-05-18T19:50:00.000+12:00

Today the blood people came to school. Since i missed out last time i made sure i went this time. I had to fill out a questionaire and then get interviewed about it. After a quick stab to my finger i found out that my Haemogloben (sorry if i spelt wrong) levels were really high. (Means i'm very healthy. The average level for a male is 130-185 and mine was 182! I have to put that down to my mother's cooking.

I then had to wait until there was a free person to hook me up and take my blood. When someone was free she took me to sit down and then proceded to stick a needle in my left arm. She missed my vein, or went right through it. So after a little bit of pain and ice/tape/bandage around my arm firmly and after she told me i was going to get a bruised arm and that it was because my veins were a little thinner than she anticipated she asked me if i would want the other arm done or if i just wanted to go. Well i had already waited over an hour so i told her to continue on my other arm. She was a little reluctant and so she called over the most experienced lady and asked her to take me because she wasn't comfortable trying on me again. So i was moved to another chair and the next lady had no problem getting it in my vein. I started pumping my arm and so i had 470mls of blood in the bag after 4-5 mins. I didn't feel like anything had happened so i went straight to class, infact if anything my bag seemed a lot lighter than it had when i went in. I had spent nearly two hours in the PAC (school hall) so i had only one class left to go to. I felt fine, other than the slight pain in my left arm from the failed attempt. Then afterschool i had to head straight to work. After i walked home my heart did feel like it was beating a lot faster than it should have after just a small walk, but i thought nothing of it. When i was at work i had to start lifting things like the teapot (actually quite heavy when full), trays full of fruit etc. Not really too heavy stuff but after you've lost 470mls of blood and your arms are a bit more fragile you can feel the strain. Atleast, this was when i started to. But then i finished work and came home. (sorry no climax, no fainting, no intensive care story) That's my somewhat interesting story of the day. But the highlight of it was that i got a blood donor sticker for my care. It's a pretty kewl sticker!!!

Blue Boy

2006-05-17T21:45:00.000+12:00

Saturday night youth group had a twist to it; To dress up as something beginning with B. I went as the personified Blue song that i'm sure most people will know "i'm blue da ba dee da ba dai...". I decided to go to my Nana's house on the saturday afternoon with my parents and then Rachel, who was on that side of town with her boyfriend, told me she would pick me up and take me to the shops to buy blue hair dye (by now i had been at my Nana's house for a little longer than planned) and so i had to wait longer for her to arrive as i didn't have a car to go shopping myself. When she arrived we raced to the nearest warehouse and started looking around for blue dye and blue facepaint. In the end i had to buy acrylic instead of facepaint and brazen blue hair dye. I drove back to my Nana's where mum and dad were waiting and we sped home. Quickly, i applied the dye in my hair and left it in for about 5-7 mins. i couldn't leave it in longer as time was running out. Washing out the dye i towel-dried my head and applied the acrylic on my face, neck and arms. I looked up to the mirror and my hair was purple, not brazen blue! Mark suggested that i paint my hair and i chucked a lot of the acrylic into my hair and turned it from it's hideous purple to dark blacky-blue. Then i was driven to youthgroup where i was only a few mins late. I got my hands on one of the photos of me and my blueness!

Only problem was, the purple didn't come out when the blue did. So i went and cut my hair (as i was planning to anyway)

So, now my hair is short, almost mullet looking, and purple. It's certainly interesting. I think i'll leave it be.

Haircut

2006-05-16T17:16:00.000+12:00

I've had another haircut. This was the first time i went to the hair dresser in a long time and asked the lady to take off the sides. This time she didn't have to press me to, instead she didn't cut them. Oh well. I wasn't complaining so i just let it be. Plus i prayed first, asking God to have my hair the way He willed it to be. (Pray even the little things) So i left it as is, even if i do think it would have looked better without the sides. I can only really blame myself anyway because firstly, i was distracting her by talking, and secondly i've always asked her to leave the sides before so she knows what i generally have and just cut to that. Next time i think i will make a point of making clear i want the sides cut. Here's the photo.

Friday

2006-05-12T18:05:00.000+12:00

It's Friday. This week has been very busy and stressful. Last weekend i spent all my spare time learning my japanese speech off by heart. That ended up being a waste of time because i ended up going down to Otago on monday and tuesday (my speech being on tuesday). So wednesday i started on my Classics research assignment which i neglected (i think i mentioned all this on my last post). Thursday i went to work and then came home and was up till the early hours of the morning finishing it off. I got information on my biology research assignment for today too, which is good because at school today i found out that i was one of few who had done any research at all. I now feel like a great load has been lifted off me. No longer any worries about Japanese and Classics, ahead in Biology, and for English a new topic has just started. Orators.

I have to research Orators/Rhetorics and then do a speech of my own acting as a famous Orator by using his/her style of language, speech, views, appropriate use of language techniques, etc. I was given a sheet of many famous Rhetorics and i selected the ones i thought would be interesting to do. The teacher told us to only do ministers and theologians if we had a good religious upbringing or knew the subject well, otherwise a lot more work would be required and it would be harder to pass. (Not often a school will tell you christian has an advantage in some respect). I have decided that i will do one of...(Andrew Brown will like this one)... John Calvin, John Knox, John Wesley (there seems to be something with John), Lenin, or Trotsky. Anyone got any other famous Orators that they can suggest for me to do? I'm very open to options.

Dunners

2006-05-09T22:34:00.000+12:00

On monday at 12:30 i left for Dunedin to see the university. Unfortuently for me going on the trip meant that i couldn't sit my Japanese speech that i had spent so much time on and so i automatically failed that assessment. But the trip was more important, I needed to find out what i was going to do with my future. Whether i would end up down in Otago studying Pharmacy or if i was to stay and study at Canterbury. And if i went down to Otago i needed to get an idea on the Halls of Residence and compare them to the option of boarding with someone from either Caversham Baptist or Caversham Community (as i know people in both churches). This is the idea i got;

I liked the university in general. The people from my school that have decided to go down to Otago are the friends i am closest to in school, and some of the ones i wanna hang around with when i leave school. The Halls actually are very enticing and seem to be great places to live as they cater for practically everything as well as being close to the university (closer than my house is to Canterbury anyway). I bused to Caversham, and though the bus drivers both on the way there and back were, well, over-casual (which seemed to resonate everywhere in Dunedin), it only took about 15minutes to bus there from the university. The friends i have in Dunedin are good people and it would be really sweet to get to know them all better. The Pharmacy course itself looked really good. Because of the casualness (i almost wrote casualty) of the city i won't actually have to spend the whole year down in Dunedin, i'll be back up to Opawa a fair bit. Basically i see Otago as the best option and it was worth going down to.

Now i just have to make the grades.
Classics doesn't look so good at the moment as i neglected it to spend time on my Japanese Speech. I have until friday to finish the whole assignment (research and essay), and i have 'till the same date for my Biology assignment research check. These are the reasons i've been on the computer a lot less as of late, i just haven't had anytime to do anything. What's more i haven't actually got much of my work done on anything except Japanese (which now i've got a Failed-To-Sit next to the grade mark anyhow). My life has been very stressful lately.

The First Koru

2006-05-05T22:46:00.000+12:00

Went to Koru tonight. We finished our preparation in prayer and one of the things mentioned was that we would all learn something or be challenged no matter how good or bad the turn out/events/attitude of the kids/etc was.

Five guys turned up (i think), all church kids, no-one from the community. It wasn't exactly what we were hoping for but atleast it was a safe leader/child ratio. The night started off with mucking around in the foam to which some memories i shall preserve forever took place. I won't go into details other than when Steve in an attempt to gain the upper hand in a race, rather than skidding like the others, turned as he was running and lost his feet. His face went straight into the floor (on the bit that wasn't covered with carpet or mats) and had to get driven by Amy to the hospital. The good side of this however, was it answered our prayer. I learned something. I learned that i didn't know what to do next if Amy and Steve both left. But, Logan took control and it was all good. Fortunetly there were fewer kids this time because if i had learnt that lesson in a months time when there are 20 11-12 year olds running around (we can hope), then it would have been a lot harder to control the situation. Aside from Steve's injury (and missing getting it on the video-camera) the night was awesome and i'm definitely keen to go again in two weeks time. But praying for a few more kids would be good. So would praying for Steve's front teeth.

I've got a Japanese speech to learn tomorrow, and a Classics assignment to finish researching and write an essay on.

Monday and Tuesday i'm gonna be going down to Otago university and spend some time looking around.

Does God Make Sense?

2006-04-29T14:45:00.000+12:00

I've been reading a few people's blogs and on each of them my train of thought goes back to the question "Does God Make Sense?" It reminds me of Anthony the speaker at eastercamp from Neville street saying on Cambell Live about how Jesus' claim and the christians' claim was the most ridiculous statement ever. (Not in a bad way of course, but it sure is a crazy claim)

I don't believe God is supposed to make sense. This world we live in is an upside-down world. Logic is nothing. Things don't work out the way they seem. Putting faith in God requires you to step forward without looking and it's not easy because the world teaches otherwise.
It's like God and the Bible. The world says "let's see what we can make of this, let's see how it all works into what we think happens, and into the little facts we have" God says "The bible is like a maze of many dimensions, you can't ever comprehend it all, but don't worry because i've already shown you the source, the centre of the maze, the finish line. It's me."

In proverbs we're taught that to give our time, money and energy means we will recieve more than if we didn't. We're taught that to gain the whole world means nothing if we neglect the spiritual side of our lives. Having it all doesn't bring happiness.
We have to live a spirtually full life in order to have peace and prosperity here.
Peace solves disputes better than war.
The serman on the mount talks about “Blessed are those who are poor – in possessions and in spirit. Blessed are those who have suffered loss and are in mourning. Blessed are the meek, and those who are hungry and thirsty – for sustenance and for justice; for righteousness. Blessed are the innocent, and those with purity of heart. Blessed are those who seek and work for peace: shalom, wholeness, health, fullness of life for all.”
But hang on, the world says "blessed are the rich, the well off, the strong, the popular. Blessed are the good-looking - they get all the girls. Blessed are the powerful."
And most christians would certainlky argue that it is better to be strong in spirit than weak. yet, "blessed are those who are poor..in spirit"

Paul was hated by townspeople because he "turned the world upside-down" (acts 17 i think)

This world we live in is not as it seems. Have you ever been in a situation when people tell you the most logical thing to do and yet God tells you something else? I have, and you know what? His way turns out better. Why? Because God didn't intend us to understand the world, He intended us to have faith in Him. If everything made sense then what good would faith be?

Harvest Crusades

2006-04-28T10:59:00.000+12:00

Greg Laurie is hosting the Harvest Crusades in New Zealand. It's where people go to listen to an Evangelist (Greg) talk about what it's like being a christian. Free entry. Gates open athe westpac trust centre at 6:30, tonight, tomorrow and Sunday.
Adelle has written a more detailed post on the Harvest Festival >here<

Post-Eastercamp

2006-04-26T22:14:00.000+12:00

hmmm, i don't really have much to say but as Anna has dutifully pointed out, i haven't updated for a week!

I didn't feel such an emotional low when i got back from eastercamp this year. Not instantly anyway. But i feel especially this last week i have been feeling quite down. Maybe due to no longer being at eastercamp, maybe because there is so little to do these holidays. (other than assignments of course, and i've been putting them off)
I wanted to invite people to the Greg Laurie Harvest but no particular names have some to mind on who to invite. I don't really see my friends from school in the holidays (that's my fault really) and a lot of them are on holiday or just getting back from holiday. I think i'll ring someone today about it.

Those Christians

2006-04-19T17:52:00.000+12:00

A Letter to Diognetus, possibly dating to second century.

This is a first hand account of what Christians were like back in the second century. I like it.

For the Christians are distinguished from other men neither by country,
nor language, nor the customs which they observe. For they neither inhabit
cities of their own, nor employ a peculiar form of speech, nor lead a life
which is marked out by any singularity. The course of conduct which they
follow has not been devised by any speculation or deliberation of
inquisitive men; nor do they, like some, proclaim themselves the advocates
of any merely human doctrines. But, inhabiting Greek as well as barbarian
cities, according as the lot of each of them has determined, and following
the customs of the natives in respect to clothing, food, and the rest of
their ordinary conduct, they display to us their wonderful and confessedly
striking method of life. They dwell in their own countries, but simply
as sojourners. As citizens, they share in all things with others, and yet
endure all things as if foreigners. Every foreign land is to them as their
native country, and every land of their birth as a land of strangers. They
marry, as do all [others]; they beget children; but they do not destroy
their offspring. They have a common table, but not a common bed.
They are in the flesh, but they do not live according to the flesh. They pass
their days on earth, but they are citizens of heaven. They obey the
prescribed laws, and at the same time surpass the laws by their lives. They
love all men, and are persecuted by all. They are unknown and condemned;
they are put to death, and restored to life. They are poor, yet make
many rich; they are in lack of all things, and yet abound in all; they
are dishonoured, and yet in their very dishonour are glorified. They are
evil spoken of, and yet are justified; they are reviled, and bless; they
are insulted, and repay the insult with honour; they do good, yet are
punished as evil-doers. When punished, they rejoice as if quickened into
life; they are assailed by the Jews as foreigners, and are persecuted by
the Greeks; yet those who hate them are unable to assign any reason for
their hatred.

To sum up all in one word--what the soul is in the body, that are
Christians in the world. The soul is dispersed through all the members of
the body, and Christians are scattered through all the cities of the world.
The soul dwells in the body, yet is not of the body; and Christians dwell
in the world, yet are not of the world. The invisible soul is guarded by
the visible body, and Christians are known indeed to be in the world, but
their godliness remains invisible. The flesh hates the soul, and wars
against it, though itself suffering no injury, because it is prevented
from enjoying pleasures; the world also hates the Christians, though in
nowise injured, because they abjure pleasures. The soul loves the flesh
that hates it, and [loves also] the members; Christians likewise love those
that hate them. The soul is imprisoned in the body, yet preserves that
very body; and Christians are confined in the world as in a prison, and yet
they are the preservers of the world. The immortal soul dwells in a
mortal tabernacle; and Christians dwell as sojourners in corruptible
[bodies], looking for an incorruptible dwelling in the heavens. The
soul, when but ill-provided with food and drink, becomes better; in like
manner, the Christians, though subjected day by day to punishment, increase
the more in number. God has assigned them this illustrious position,
which it were unlawful for them to forsake.

Easter Camp

2006-04-17T21:43:00.000+12:00

I love Easter weekend. Why? Well for a start this is the weekend that we remember the Lord Jesus Christ died for our sins, faced a death more painful than anyone could possibly bear, and when death came a knocking he let it think it had him and then he showed it who he really was and what he was truly capable of. This is the weekend that the whole world changed. Jesus made a decision. A decision to look into your eyes and see the iniquities within, a decision to love you anyway, a decision to take those iniquities and cast them upon his own back, his own conscience, and face the consequences. This is a weekend that 1973 or so years ago changed the course of history. This is a weekend that today still changes the course of history. I saw hundreds of non-christians come to Christ this weekend. I saw the Spirit move within thousands of hearts openly and honestly offering their all to the King of Kings. That's another reason i love this weekend. How many people can say they have been turned to God through theological discussions, to debates of Creationism vs Evolution, or to finding flaws in the things science teaches us? It won't be many. But who can say they turned to God because of a spiritual experience they had with Him? That changes people, and Eastercamp gives those people that experience. I saw several people from Cashmere High School turn to God at Eastercamp and i intend to fulfill my role as prefect and more importantly as Child of God to make sure my brothers and sisters stick to it. To fight the struggles of the world, the peer pressure to give in to selfishness, the empty social lives that create so much pain. This weekend is a chance to start something at Cashmere that moves the lives of the students. This weekend brings me back to the basics. The best way to evangelise is to talk, and to live what you talk. Sure i don't find the living part so difficult, but i've been so wrapped up living the right way that i've forgotten i need to talk. As simple as "do you know Jesus loves you?" can change someone's life forever. Literally forever. This weekend has reminded me that it's not me who saves people, it's God, and if i don't stand on a mountain and sing his name then what faith do i have that He can change the hearts of those who hear my voice? This weekend does more, it speaks to me of the importance of the decisions i have to make. Am i willing to give up pride for my Lord? It's God or the world, no man can serve two masters.

Have i ever turned my head to things i know are wrong? Have i ever used my hands to do someone harm? Of course, are we not all guilty of that? I ceratinly am. Each one of those times i was faced with a decision, and i chose wrongly. How many more times do i have to face the consequences of my poor decisions before i decide to stop making them? Well i've decided now, and things at school will change. Because Eastercamp leaves no-one the same.

One thing Randall pointed out though, which i totally agree with, is that they haven't had someone go up on stage and say "Hey i'm a christian, i've grown up in a christian home and been a christian all my life, i've faced struggles and everyday i fight against the things the world forces at me. I've never turned away from God because everytime i've fallen Jesus has helped me back up again. I'm still fighting"
Everytime some goes on stage it's "i turned from God, and got into drugs, sex, etc, and then i realised it was empty, so i looked for answers and then i truly experienced God for the first time... bla bla bla."
That's all good, but if taht is all that we get told then that is what the standard becomes. And i will tell you i have often thought about leaving God for a few years because "i'll find him again later" and then i can truly experience him and apprieciate him more. Well that's wrong. I don't have to leave God to know Him and i shouldn't believe that i do. I know God now, and wouldn't give him up for the world.

God has a purpose for me in my life. I can decide to do one of two things. I can follow Him and do what i am predestined to do, or i can walk the 'other' way and live life for nothing. This is where it starts. This weekend has made it clear to me of my decision. Now i will choose.

The greatest need in the world is to save lost people. That is what we are called to do. That is what I am called to do. I liked the example of the evangelist who either caused a riot or a revival where he went. That is what we as Christians need to do. Get up and fight for what we believe in. We believe in saving the lost, clothing the poor, feeding the hungry. Let's get out there and do it.

Muhammad and Me

2006-04-07T17:47:00.000+12:00

If anyone is wodering what this muhummad and me blog is about i will put the link here.

Be warned, a lot of bad language on comments. Also if you only have a short amount of time on the internet then perhaps it is not for you. Some of the posts have well over a hundred comments.
The blog is being shut down at the end of the month.

I also find you can get very frustrated when reading the comments because you have so much to argue about but there are 100 comments between the ones you want ot argue about and the end of the line where your comment will get posted.

again the link is http://muhammadandme.blogspot.com/

Wrong + Wrong = Right?

2006-04-06T21:13:00.000+12:00

Is it ever ok to do wrong to do right?
If something is wrong and the only way to fix it is to do wrong, do you do it?
When Law restricts fixing right, do you break it?
Jesus told the pharasees that if a man were drowning on the sabboth then he should not be let to drown. The law was against doing any work on the sabboth, and that included the effort involved in helping someone out of water too deep.
So the question now is, is this verse saying that if it is wrong then the law should be changed to make it right and that way you are not breaking the law (and if the law is not changed then the man must drown), or is it saying that the law should be broken to save the man to whom the sabboth was made for?
And can this example be used with the pagan/secular laws of our society today that are considered wrong?

Evolution

2006-04-04T23:26:00.000+12:00

found this site on the net. I totally agree with what this guy is saying. I've actually researched a little of the information on some of the dating methods and he is totally right in their unreliability.
Also see The Answers Book by Ken Ham, Jonathan Sarfati and Carl Wieland, and Refuting Evolution by Joanathan Sarfati and Ken Ham which both have a lot of very detailed points on the subject. The site is a bit shallow in it's depth but it makes the main points and is nicely set out.

Evolution

New Haircut

2006-04-04T22:06:00.000+12:00

I went to the hairdresser today after school. I just sat down and told the lady to do it shorter (i don't know what i want, just cut it, and not too short - i'm not a skinhead) and the hairdresser (who is remarkable with memory) said "oh look it's your mum". And then mum walked through the door. Haircut on the same day. Coincidence? Well i certainly never mentioned anything to her about getting a haircut and she never said anything to me. Weird. Oh well i better post up the new do. It's just the same as the last one - unstyled, messy, verging on becoming an afro if it's given freedom to grow, except this haircut is shorter.

Seriously, that is it. No it's not an old picture. But you know what? I like it, i don't like having really short hair cos it doesn't suit me at all, this is ok for me. (i wonder what it will be like tomorrow, haircutes never look the same as straight after a haircut)

Body before Blood

2006-04-02T14:38:00.000+12:00

I have often wondered why Jesus broke the bread before He raised His glass of wine. As I sat in church for communion the question came to me again. Why did Jesus break bread first? Surely the bread represents His body and wine His blood. So if that is so, why do we gain His life before being washed clean of the old one? The answer is so obvious. When we enter into a relationship with Jesus we ask Him to full us, for Him to be a part of us and grow in us, and as He does, that we grow in Him and be a part of His body. But we do not have to be cleansed to ask Jesus to be our Saviour. Why? Because we can't possibly cleanse ourselves. We need His help to do that. So only by Eating the bread that fills the emptiness inside do we grow in spirit and allow Jesus' blood to flow through us and purge the darkness inside. I don't know why i didn't see it before. Now it makes perfect sense why He tore the bread first.

An interesting thought...

2006-04-01T13:00:00.000+12:00

At youthtrain today an interesting question came to my mind.
We were talking about allowing a person to freely express an emotion. As a male i know that guys tend to harden up at a young age and refuse to cry when they feel hurt. This later leads to almost an inability to cry (unless of course watching chick flicks [inside joke]) and so males are not used to crying at all over emotions. Yes sometimes an extreme emotion will cause years of held up tears to stream out of one's eyes (i've yet to find my moment). In the world today, crying for a male is seen as a sign of weakness. Of course i totally disagree, i think crying demands the best of a man, the humility to expose himself entirely, the ability to be moved by emotions he is not afraid to express, or if he does fear his expression then to risk what he fears and cry anyway.

But the interesting question that came to mind was simply this:
Why is it that girls do not (or rarely ever do) cry infront of guys?

Crying is not seen as a weakness in girls in our society today. Girls aren't afraid to tell a male they have cried, but coming to actually crying infront of them is a totally different issue. Yes crying is still a way of exposing yourself, but why is it so easy to expose yourself to a good female friend but not a good male friend? Just a thought, just another of life's questions that comes without an answer.

Waltham Fun Fair

2006-03-31T22:24:00.000+12:00

The Waltham Fun Fair took place this afternoon. I arrived just after 3pm (went to canterbury University for the afternoon so finished school slightly early) and got to standing behind the OBY info stall. Thanks to Eulalia and her knowledge of all the Waltham School students, the amount of Intermediate Group (the name escapes me) Pamphlets spread out around the year 7 and 8 students was wikedly high. Quite a few parents enquired about the youth group and the new intermediate group and it was good to give the information to them to take home and talk over with their children. I'm really hoping for an increase in numbers in the youthgroup, each soul saved is worth so much more than the effort put in, and it would be awesome to see a really positive turn out for the intermediate group on the first day, as usually groups start off with a few people and gradually grows larger by word of mouth. I want the intermediate group to start big and grow even bigger. That way when those atendees begin to filter into youthgroup they will already have relationships with leaders and other people in youthgroup who they can turn to when trouble or problems arise, or even for friendship, just to hang out, talk, mess around with, etc.

(some of you may be thinking that for me it's not the case as i am heading down to Otago for 4 years to do a pharmacy degree. That's not necessisarily the case, my mind is not entirely made up, if God calls me to stay in Christchurch instead of going down south then that is the option i will take. In the other case, being me going down to Dunedin, I will still be coming up on free weekends every so often, and will definitely be coming up on holidays. I am a part of Opawa and will always be, so after four years it is fair to say you will be seeing as much of me as you are now.)

So with that in mind, the relationships i build with the form 1 and 2 pre-teens (or hope to), and their parents, if i am a leader (which i hope to be) will be set in stone.

The day ended in lots of sales for the Eastercamp Fundraiser stall, good live music (thanks to all the artists, no i didn't play), and memories that will, i hope, last for years to come.

still having a few problems..

2006-03-30T21:17:00.000+12:00

I'm still having a bit of trouble getting the sidebar to stay on the side. I can't understand why it isn't there. I'm very confused right now. Anyone with any ideas?

Giving is Getting

2006-03-29T16:23:00.000+12:00

"You have not lived a perfect day, even though you have earned your money, unless you've done something for someone who'll never be able to repay you."

Makes you think doesn't it? How often do we live perfect days?
I know this quote is totaly true for me. I feel happiest when i make other people happy. It is a selfish reason to make people happy i know, but it's how i feel. I get joy out of other people's joy, and so the best way to forget life's problems, is to try to make people happy.

"No man can live happily who turns everything to his own advantage. You must live for others if you wish to live for yourself."

No saying rings truer.

(quotes taken from word for today)

2006-03-26T22:03:00.000+12:00

I don't know if anyone else felt it, but tonight was awesome. Usually when i'm on the data projector i don't get into worship because i'm busy making sure people have words to sing to, but tonight i arrived from work early and went through the songs with the worship team. So when the time came to worship i just seemed to get right into it. Just sang, not to anyone but God. I know worship is not for me, it's for God, but tonight i realised, when you give to God you get back (in a different way than i had in mind, i always thought this was just to do with money). And i got back, i felt so revitalised, i felt the spirit moving in the church. I really loved the service tonight, other than the strain on technology (always dangerous when it comes to relying on computers). The sermon was really heartseeking. We all got a text at the end saying this:
God B W me n evry pass. Gsus B W me on evry hill. Spirit B W me n evry stream. ea step of D jRne I go
I felt so at home in the church this evening. I must say, At AA and Summer's house afterwards, for supper, i was a bit quiet. Why? Because i was constantly being reminded of the people around me, and how important they were to me, i was continuosly thinking of the importance and the influence to my development, my character, my life, those people were. How i would be nothing without them, how with God living in them, I live for them. I think what Randall has constantly reminded me...i think far too much, needs to be applied here too. I am thinking too much. But tonight i really felt God and it was so easy to just sing and worship him in the company of those who matter to me. So as i listen to Till Kingdom Come by Coldplay I...whoops tell a lie, the song has changed.. Miracle Drug by U2. As i listen to U2, i think of how i want to get inside the minds of those who i do care about and want to help out. How i want to open up to those people and let them inside my head. I'm going to stop thinking now.

Which Theologian Are You?

2006-03-23T23:09:00.000+12:00

Which theologian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

the definition of pelagianism is this:
A concept proposed by Pelagious (circa 356 to circa 418) who denied the existence of original sin inherited from Adam. He taught that a soul created by god cannot inheret sin from an ancestor. Thus humans are born morally neutral. They can fall into habits of sin but can overcome sin through mental effort. He promoted adult baptism in place of infant baptism. His beliefs were declared heretical by the Christian movement.
www.religioustolerance.org/gl_p.htm

I agree with that to a degree anyway, although i am subject to change. I think that we fall into sin because Adam first sinned and because of his first sin we fell into the habbit of sin. After Adam sinned he continued to sin and thus so did his children. Just as a baby cannot lie until it is taught to, nor does man sin until he learns how. He learns this by watching others and as others continue to sin around him he too starts to adopt sinning into his life. However I don't agree with taking God out of the equation!?
You can't take God out of anything! If you did then you would be left with nothing.

Fixed blog

2006-03-20T17:28:00.000+12:00

This blog seems to have fixed itself. I tried to get on today and it just popped up. However my whole sidebar had been deleted. Luckily i had saved the sidebar content a few months ago so had most of it there to put back on. I know it's not teh same as it was but i just can't remember what and who else were on my sidebar so please tell me if you know anything of either. I'm sure i've missed out atleast someone or another from my sidebar (i'm not even sure if it has the right category names now). Terrible memory i know.

To lighter subjects, I have started listening to two more songs that i really like. Both old Opawaian songs so i think it's safe to say taht most people will know them.
Firstly; Behold He Comes (These Are The Days Of Elijah)
and secondly; There's A River Of Life
(i wonder if anyone can imagine why i know that song now, one hint.. spent the weekend in the wild with guys, Randall was among them.)

Great times. I won't forget that song now.

Speaking of remembering songs for particular moments in time. I will post my short talk that i presented on Sunday on Discernment of the Coldplay song A Message. (what i didn't expect was the quote Jason and Steve both used extrated from this blog. Thanks guys, i never knew my words spoke to other people [maybe the words weren't my own]) Without further a do, here is the short-speech:

First verse says to me this simple message; Love is the greatest. It never ends. Love is and will always be.
When you are loved, and in the company of love, you are not alone.

Second verse goes on to say; On our own we are without love, because we have not accepted the love of God, but when we do, we are not alone. We don’t see clearly because stepping out in faith and trusting someone is hard and it seems like we should only trust ourselves. But stepping out in faith is the best thing to do.

The chorus is saying to me about how love is a one way street. It is! I don’t care what Ricky Martin says in his Private Emotion song. You give without the expectation of getting back. Sometimes you do get back and that’s awesome, but don’t expect it because if what you are giving really is love then it shouldn’t matter to you how the person reacts because you will love them regardless. And love doesn’t ever end.

The last verse talks about the refusal to back down. When you do have love, who cares what other people think! You do what you do for love not for other people. Get on that platform and sing your love! Cos without it, you ain’t nothing.

Sleeping in a Cave

2006-03-19T22:22:00.000+12:00

A few of us, led by Randall, headed out to Ocains bay this weekend to get away from the world and just 'be boys'. We mucked around the bay for the day and then went to sleep in a cave. Weird experience i must say, but i'm glad i did experience it. Now i can tell people i've slept in a cave. And it really wasn't a haunting experience, it was a relaxed enviroment (Michael can assure anyone of that) and we could talk a lot more openly about Earth, Heaven and all that lies between.
Today was filled with Boating, Fishing, Water skiing, and clutching on to the hold on the boat as my feet lost their footings and went flying around by the speed in which Randall powered through the sea. Awesome time!! (And i made it to work on time, Thank God for daylight savings)

I have noticed that when viewing http://inhisradiance.blogspot.com a blank screen appears. This post will hopefully change my template by adding in another post and thus fix the error. Well we can pray. If you can read this then my praying worked. :D

Back in the game

2006-03-12T15:34:00.000+13:00

This weekend was particularly hard. Not just because it was the first time i did the 40 hour famine with two of my greatest passions (blogging and eating) but because the eating included drinking and drinking included coffee. I went to the barista course on saturday after youthtrain and was flooded by the delicious smell of coffee and had to make coffees without drinking them. I suppose it was a good test because when in the hospitality service one has to forget about his own comforts and focus on the needs of those he is serving. (my coffees did all turn out terrible mind you). After getting home i continued to absentmindedly head down to the kitchen to get something to eat. But i never ate :D just as i opened the fridge and saw all the beautiful foods i would remember i was on the famine. Eventually i locked myself up in my room where i read a book and texted people. (my computer famine was for the computer only). The evening was really fun though. I went to the 40hour famine sleep over at the friendship center. Dave and I went to fresh choice St Martins to find some empty boxes for making our carboard houses. I found a mate there and got him to get some boxes from the back for us. Everyone thought it very odd two fellows walking through a supermarket with carboard boxes, especially when we walked out and the checkout chicks were all looking at us so i told them we were just stealing their carboard boxes. Confused looks crossed their faces and Dave and I walked out and filled up my car boot with cardboard. Good times, good times. Anyway later on the night we watched some movies. Napoleon Dynamyte!!!! i finally got to see it! Woke up the next morning and went across the road to church. Then had a really big brunch. Waffles, fruit, potato chips, chips, wedges, savs, savories, etc. Now it's time for me to go to work. Cya tonight. If you're a sponser for me i am bringing my little book tonight.

2006-03-10T19:55:00.000+13:00

will be back sunday night

Question to get you thinking.

2006-03-07T19:01:00.000+13:00

What would make you happy?

If you have found that then the question is

What does make you happy?

this is a serious question, give time and thought.

Sick

2006-03-07T17:32:00.000+13:00

Just as i went to sleep lastnight a sudden headache came upon me. I thought i would sleep it off. I didn't. Waking up several times in the night (more time awake than asleep) i decided at about 3am to go down and get a drink and a panadol. i almost threw up as i walked down to the kitchen. after taking the medicine i went back to bed and tried to sleep. I lay awake as my stomach turned uneasily. Then before i could close my mouth sick smelling liquid spurted out of it spilling relentlessly all over me and the bed on which i lay. I imagined if i sat up to get a bowl i would not make it even out of bed, let alone the kitchen, before i threw up again, so i lay there and momentarily more liquid excreted itself from my mouth, and yet more. After a few minutes of covering myeslf in foul smelling insides i got up got a cloth and attempted to clean up the mess that was on me and the bed. After a poor job of doing so, it took a clean pillow and slept sideways on the bottom, clean half of my bed. By now the panadol had kicked in, or i was just too tired to notice my migrane, and i fell asleep almost instantly. Waking up in the morning to mum calling me to get ready for school i explained i wasn't going to go to school today. After all i am very rarely sick and i'm sure i don't use anywhere nearly all my sick days throughout the year. (i'm not even sure if schools have a certain amount of sick days). So i read a book after i got up at sometime during midday called The Seer And The Sword which i really do reccomend to anyone who likes love stories entangled in fantasy which weirdly enough seemed to have as much empathy as an allegory. One of the best books i ever read actually (which probably doesn't say much because i rarely read these days).
Any way i feel much better now and will be good for school tomorrow, and YG tomorrow evening.

2006-03-04T20:13:00.000+13:00

How goes your soul?

2006-02-28T20:25:00.000+13:00

I like the idea of putting a verse on a blog once in a while, just to make people think.
Here is one of my favourites (thanks Amy for introducing me to this verse)

Psalm 34:5
Those who look to him are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame

Everyone has a name and that name is important to them, whether they have chosen that name for themself or whether someone else has chosen it for them, because that name gives who they are a personality and depth of character. Most people are named by their parents after someone who has either been a great influence on the parents' life or on the history of the world. And because of this they live their lives, almost you could say, living up to that name. Some people live their whole lives just to be worthy of the name they have been given and others live their life to create an immortal name for themselves. Usually once one has accomplished the former they attempt the latter. Alexander the Great is an example of this. He lived his life to be worthy of his father's name (family name) but after becoming just as well known or defined as his father he strove to be the greatest, to gain an even greater name. This verse says two things to me. Firstly those who look to God will never be covered with shame. They choose to do His will rather than the will that the world expects of them (namely following the fate their name has left them) and because of that share in Christ's glory. Secondly this verse, as you are probably aware, has a personal impact on me because i am known as "Radiance" or "Rayd". So in that respect this verse tells me that to fulfill my name's fate i have to look to the Lord, or else how can i be the radiant person i am destined to be?

Psalm 34:5
Those who look to him are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame

MC Hammer Blog: Father Father Father

2006-02-27T16:00:00.000+13:00

MC Hammer Blog: Father Father Father

A Day FulFilled

2006-02-25T22:31:00.000+13:00

I feel like i've been knocked out. Every muscle in my body aches, every movement is with force. Yesterday from 4 o'clock to 6 o'clock i was at the school bowling ball after ball to a batter in the nets, trying to increase my speed and get in shape for the upcoming wintersport Indoor Cricket. I don't feel i did so well in the former, but i certainly did more excersise than i have done in a very long time. I became totally exhausted.

I got up this morning at 9 to the doorbell ringing. I knew who it was, but didn't expect them because to be honest i thought they were already in my house. My friend Josh from Dunedin and his mates are on a road trip from the dunners to Blenheim to pick up a pool table and then head back down. So they arrived late last night from Dunedin and i thought Josh was staying at our house but i was just too tired to stay up and welcome him in so i just went to bed at about 11:30. So at 9am this morning i quickly got up and went downstairs to meet the fellas. My whole body ached! Anyway i had a shower and then ate breakfast (with a moche frapee) after a few hours of catching up they had to leave to drive up to blenheim.

At that time i too had to leave to go to Sasha's birthday brunch. I didn't have time to get a present for her so i told her i would get it after the meal before i saw her later on again in the day. I ate a breakfast that i couldn't even finish. I still had about a fith of a pancake left [and gave half of one to Amy] (ordered big plate of pancakes, 2 side plates of bacon and 1 side plate of eggs). So after that i bought Sasha's present, and headed home to digest the food i had just eaten.

Right on 2:55pm i went to Church to meet up with OBY. Played pool for a bit. Then we all headed to Spencer park where we played Touch, Cricket, Extreme DONKEY, Forceback, Bouncy Wrestling, etc AND had a BBQ. The bouncy boxing got me totally knackered. I faced Steve Jaegar and then Mark straight afterwards. i could hardly crawl after that. By the end of the day i felt dead. So we all went to Randall and Kate's house after..except of course my carload who confused going to Randall's with going to Randall's parents Castle on the port hills. (other side of city) So after driving up the hill, playing corners (lucky Rayd, sitting in the back seat with not one but two girls the whole way ;)), we realised we were the only ones there and decided to turn around. But the car overheated trying to drive back up the impossibly steep driveway. So after help from Noeline Diggs (:D)we headed back down towards the Diggs Junior's House. After arriving we got a big applause and some cheesecake. :D

The night ends with me coming home, getting on the computer, void of energy, knowledge of Classics homework that will have to be done at some point tomorrow afternoon, and awaiting Josh to return to possibly play a game of Settlers of Catan Cities and Knights.

Guess Who Just Became A 2006 Cashmere High School Prefect?

2006-02-24T15:45:00.000+13:00

World Vision - 40 Hour Famine

2006-02-20T19:15:00.000+13:00

I am doing the 40hour famine for the first time (i think i haven't done it before anyway)
When Amy wanted me to do it i was quite reluctant seeing i'm always hungry and indulge my self in food the majority of the time i spend at home (despite my appearance). So Amy offerred me another choice, a Techno Fast. Staying off electronics like phones, computers, t.v, movies, etc.
Thinking about the children i could actually help by rasing money for giving up in the things i enjoy hit me quite hard and i spend a few days contemplating my choices. A) Food Fast, B) Techno Fast, or C) No Fast. Then it occurred to me, why not suffer the loss of both? But because there will be a movie that night with OBY i decided that i would only half techno it. No computer, no internet, no blogging, no checking people's blogs for 40hours! And in the midst of that, no food (but the stuff i'm allowed of course). I'm happy for any sponsors.
I will be bringing my world vision booklet to the AGM, and to school for the next while. If you wanna sponsor, i won't stop you from giving hope, and life for those who need aid so much more than you. Sacrificing a little money can do so much to those who need it most.. "the AIDS patient who gets her medicine, thanks to you...the African entrepreneur who can start a small family business, thanks to you.... digging waterholes to provide clean water" - bono

No more google ads

2006-02-18T12:06:00.000+13:00

I have removed the google ads from the top of my page as the ads were not all relevant to my posts. When i saw the Voodoo ad i figured it was best to just get rid of the ads altogether. Unfortunetly now my side bar has gone bung and stands far too far to the right. It doesn't matter all that much though (but if you know how to fix it, i would be grateful for anyone's help, thanks)
Incase anyone was wondering, in the time i had google ads I had 8 people click on them and made US$1.20 or there abouts. It really wasn't worth the ugly affect it had on my page.

Religion through the eyes of a secular world

2006-02-16T21:46:00.000+13:00

Today in Classics the topic of study changed to Roman Religion. The teacher at one point touched on monotheistic (belief in one God) religions and how they became more influencial in more modern times. One of these 'monotheistic religions' was Christianity. My teacher warned the class that he was not very informed on the ideals of Christianity but did talk about what he seemed to think it was about.
To him Christianity was summed up as this:
The thought of death confused people and they sought answers as to what happened after death. Some people began to believe in one God who created and ruled the earth/universe and believed that based on following (or not) a moral code (the Bible) your after-life would be determined. Those who followed the Ten Commandments would go to heaven, those who did not..would not. Although there were also those who believed there was only good after death and thus regardless of how you acted on earth you would go to heaven. It gave cause to worship this creator for creating, this omnipotent and omnipresent God for influencing the atmosphere/seasons/fertility/etc to reward those who were most pious. People sharing their beliefs was a way of bringing people together to have a common cause. That was what Christianity was.

To me Christianity is more:
Christianity is not just about what happens after your life on earth is over, but more importantly about your life on this earth. You only get one life, one test from God. So following the law is important, but moreso is following Jesus' teachings. Living to get to an happy ending is right, but living to fulfill a destiny that will make you more than content is essential. Believing in one God is true, but so is the understanding of the trinity. Three in one, one in three! Living a morally acceptable life is great, but shining God's radiance that others are influenced by your deeds is imperative. It is God-pleasing to worship Him, but funadmental to do it full heartedly and to live that which you promise to Him in your act of worship. To be pious but not over-pious. It's nice to have people share your beliefs, but there is more to it than that, It brings about a fellowship and close loving relationships (not in the sense of how the world sees "close loving relationship" today) between those involved. It builds a net of love that catches all those who trip over and fall and offers hands to help them back to their feet.

Maybe one day his views will change.

To add into this post (because i can't be bothered creating a new one):
After work i went to the Growth Coaching Celebration. I have applied to be growth coached.
Also; Hearing Pete talk both on Sunday and today and I am very much in awe of Pete and Sylvia. I really look up to the two of them, and the way they live. Like silent mentors.

Destiny and how it sways my approach on Criminal Sentences

2006-02-14T22:47:00.000+13:00

A few posts ago i was talking about how destiny was an essential thing in life. I was thinking about it today when i was talking to someone about Prison sentences. I heard things like "Pimps should be locked up with the key thrown away so that they can rot in prison. They ruin so many people's lives they don't deserve a second chance" But what i realised was if you lock someone up forever then there is no point in them living, they have no purpose. They don't have anything to aim for. Maybe they aren't the kind of person who will take a second chance and use it for the good of themselves aswell as others but they should not be deprived of their destiny. A much more suitable punishment for the vilest of offenders would be a long sentence of solitary confinement say seven years, and then once completing that a reintroduction to a normal prison ward with other prisoners. And from there a little more benefits, and gradually completion of one thing leads to another and that to another etc giving them a reason to change their life, a reason to live. I'm not saying that prisoners should all be let free after time and i'm not saying they should all be kept locked up. People change, and some prisoners will change for the better. Likewise some change for the worse, become more bitter. But you can not deprive either group of that destiny which they have the choice to fulfill. That is my view on Criminal Justice. It is not a rock solid view however, just a thought.