Apathy and Anguish

Apathy.

I feel as though I am so apathetic to life these days. Don't get me wrong, I do care about things, but I just don't seem to care enough.
I want to do well in uni, but I don't care enough to devote hours of studying every week
I want to build deeper relationships with friends, but I don't make the time to go hang out (with more than just the usual bunch of close friends)
I want to develop a stronger relationship with God, but I just don't want to have to change things in my life to make way for something better. And even in my desire to want to change, I so often just can't be bothered.

Apathy is the response of any living organism when it is subjected to several stimuli it perceives too hard to handle.

I have too much responsibility and choice in my life I wish I was just told what to do exactly, and do it.
As Paul Washer said, we have so much truth in our lives already that we don't know what to do with it. We just want to change. Tell us how to change, not just a part of us, but ourselves entirely, from the chambers of our heart.

Anguish.

Part of my apathy is that I am not feeling anguish. A deep hurt for the things of God in this life. I should care and the people on those streets, not be desensitized any longer. I should be in pain for the waste of my life playing computer games, or for sitting around watching TV. It's not even justifiably social if I'm the only one doing it. I should be hurting every inch of me when I stunt my relationship with God, or when I choose to say something that hurts someone.

"Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up" James 4:9,10